yesterday, someone named Someone told me to "think classy", or to "be like a princess". i understood Someone's point, but it took me a while to picture what Someone expected from me.
the first image that came to my head was all these korean drama princesses loaded with fucking heavy atrocious laces, walking around kik kok-kik kok in their heels, wearing make-up at home for wallpapers to see. but i suppose, that was not what Someone meant.
perhaps being a prince in korea is worse. i mean, look at them!!
coming from a (very, i emphasize VERY) small town, in johor, i grew up with barbies and toy cookeries; but there was more to that.
there was the cycling & bleeding, the stealing jasmine flowers & frying them on milo lids, the rubber game (we called it zero singapore for god knows why), throwing rocks into the hamsap ustaz's window who rubbed his fingers on 10 years old muslim girls' pussies while preaching about 'agama'...
those are not princessy deeds, are they?
this was when it started - the cycling thing. but with lipstick on. SEE?!
no one is BORN a princess. a princess must be TRAINED to be a princess. and she has to WANT to be a fucking princess. most city girls ARE princesses and though i now live in the CITY, but my home is still the jungle. that's where i came from.
when i was in my teens, i cursed a lot. hello, we are Johorians. mostly hokkiens. i'm not saying ALL hokkien johorians curse, but i was one who grew up listening to kanina, lin lao hia, linbu, linkun, lan jiao tua, chao cibai... everyday. i said, every. day. in school. i was the only chinese girl in class with 10 other chinese boys; what do u expect?
a princess today?
after spm, i went for national service. i marched hell lot. when i was in high school, i taught marching. i'm amazed at myself that i can still walk in heels today. but hey, even so, i don't let the heels control me! i wear them to feel sexy, but i kick them off bloody heels when i feel pain. princesses can't do that! but i suppose again, that this was not Someone meant either.
so what did Someone mean?
in college & uni, i was in a performing arts course - acting. u learned to express yourself. every feeling that you experience, you feel, you remember them. you keep them deep inside you so when you're onstage, you have your bank of 'savings'.
that's how i can shake off a laugh and cry in 17 seconds (fastest record so far) when my character needs to. we students, were trained that way, and that skill, be it a good or bad one, has been implanted in me.
what do people usually mean, when they say a girl is 'so princessy'. demanding, i suppose? i am. a drama queen. and as i say this, i am not proud of it. i'm not celebrating it. but i am embracing myself (you should because in the end of the day, only you would) because i understand myself so well about where i am coming from. and i despise anyone who is my friend, but is actually secretly hoping for a change in me.
i can be very demanding. dead if you are my boyfriend. but only if you are an unromantic boyfriend. so does that mean i have a 'princess' attitude? be i a princess or not, why is this even a matter. huh? why.
you either like it, take it, or leave a princess. a princess doesn't go to you. and that doesn't mean a normal girl can't do that as well.
Kenny once said that i am a failed princess. i totally agree. i never found the words to describe myself, until he put those two words together.
screaming like a to-be-slaughtered chicken? - FAILED.
so what in your opinion did Someone mean? i don't know. maybe if Someone were to judge this picture, Someone would say i should've screamed with my mouth close!
i won't deny that i love to be like a princess. after all, i am a girl and i enjoy dressing up in nice fabrics & heels, putting on lip gloss & shuttering those lashes...
dreaming of prince charming on my 'princess' bed?
but deep inside, i do believe that your childhood shapes who you are today. they are qualities - i have mine, and you have yours. you can't deny them or act like you don't know them. for those who doesn't have any, too bad because you only live once and you can't turn back time to be a kid again.
but if anyone, anyone, tells you to change (not a bad habit but) a quality in you, don't ever do it.
trust me, there are so many people out there, and there will be Someone who appreciates you for who you are, be you a princess or a fake princess like Cinderella.
The apartment is irritably empty now. There's a buzz of ultimate silence vibrating my ear drums. My family just left. I bid them goodbye at the doorsteps. They disappeared into the lift with the shadows of their luggage and empty fruit basket. I would have left this goddamn place with them if this pending job had given me a certain answer of when I could start. But it did not.
Nobody would like this feeling. Including you. That's only if I gave you this pair of comfortable maroon heels though. But they are too expensive, so I will not. Lemme skip this stingy bitch part.
Skip!
I remember sleeping for 3 hours, before groggily waking up to the God Damn shriek of my PDA's alarm. Trust me, it sounds totally intolerable. However though, if that's not the case, I might not have been awaken up in time to catch dawn planes.
It rained that morning. Wet roads. Slippery. Empty highways. Smitten was I. No matter how loud you blast your radio, you still feel the kind of awkward silence one could never meet during the day.
It's like there's this weird sense of intimacy with something you're afraid of. Darkness. There's a difference between the midnight darkness and the dawn darkness. The latter always manage to give me an unspoken 'hope is near' promise. And that, I know, is not always a bad feeling. (:
It took us one whola wet hour to reach the terminal. Someone lovely sent me there.
LCCT.
My family, they were already there. A bunch of old people from my hometown were mulling and musing around the airport. They looked quite funny and lost. Sad. No muscles to see nor touch this trip. The previous one so gracefully, in a fateful way, hooked me up with my ex whose a seriously steaming hot hunk.
Well... whatever. It was no issue not having monstrous muscles when you have a massive supply of sugar power instead! :D
Giant Chupa Chups which definitely make you sick loh.
Huge ass Mentos.
And my favourite amongst all, Hersheys. Say it with Kisses~! I don't mind this being bigger.
When it was time to fly, the city had already been awaken up by the sun. I've always thought that only landing in the dark is cool; cause you get to see the city lights. While taking off, I have a very strong devotion to roar my imagination and spread it wide out to the clouds...
Aren't they lovely?
The land of clouds... where no one (I repeat, no one) can put a foot on.
Sometimes they just look like nothing. It's like saying your name a hundred times and realize you are no one.
I like how this airline gives Kit Kats and not some squishy cordial puddings. It is a bit hard to appreciate bad desserts.
5 hours later we reached Hang Zhou's airport. Our tour guide was a school teacher named Yang Yang (No, not gatal-gatal). Her mother was a teacher too before she retired, but Yang Yang stopped teaching because she is "too playful" she said.
This was the 1st picture I took @ China in our tour bus(!!!); which drove us up to Heng Dian.
Yang Yang bought KFC Twister for us; which you can only get in China. It tasted fabulous, and perhaps that's because they used PORKY!!! =D
We checked in our hotel which has a touch of both antique and modern design.
It reminds me of my room with the red pillows around.
Ova the dinner table, we were introduced to this new dish I particularly liked. It is just cabbage, simmered till the end with vinegar and soy sauce together with some dry chillies. The result is a spicy and sour SzeChuan-like dish. I extremely lurrrve sour stuff so I could dig the whole casserole!
That night, we ticked off our first touristy destination. Less than a Disneyland, Dreamlike Valley is a theme park built specially for TV and movie producers to shoot their films, and we were there for a show...
The night sun.
It is ONLY nice to visit this place at night because the beauty comes from the lighting design of this place.
Our very first group picture. I was rated second youngest in the group OMG.
I guess the problem with this place was the challenge to take clear pictures with the tour guide, flying faster than a hungry arrow released from the hunter to kill a bloody deer.
Mum and dad in their warm jackets, strolling together hand-in-hand along this romantic autumn-ish street. awww~
Ama and I wanted to feel romantic too~! lol
p/s: the trees here are fake. no photosynthesis goin' on ere' during the day! it is all bout' the shoots. 
If you ever happened to watch some Chinese soap dramas about floating gods and wingless warriors, you might have seen this built-to-look-old-bridge; which is actually pretty new.
Actually, everything here IS fake and new.
As we walked through the park, a few movie shoots were going on at the same time.
Costume sets.
Actors who looked like real 70's villagers were playing with their hand phones everywhere! Even the set looked so old, so real.
According to Yang Yang, this is THE place if you wanna see or bump into any artistes while traveling in China. Jacky Chan or Jay Chou, you name it. The rest, is luck. If you still don't see any, you can try to reboot your luck at the hotel we stayed in because that's where the stars stay throughout the whole shooting period. ;)
We walked in the dark till we saw this:
Can you imagine how many people were down there? I was so worried someone in the crowd was swine positive!
Everyone was there just to watch this:
A Chinese theater performance...
-__________- "
And this! :
This was actually the whole idea of the i push you - you push me thing.
If you thought all waterfall scenes were shot at real waterfalls, this might prove you wrong. Here's a video of how the man-made waterfall built just for the directors to shoot movies operates :
Aah yes. With my dad's voice-over beneath it. Ha Ha.. Cause my Ama got shocked and ran in circles! She thought that was a real waterfall and it was going to drown all of us!! ROFL~
At the end of the show there was a bonfire where everyone was invited to dance around with the theater actors.
We went back to our Heng Dian hotel early because Yang Yang would kidnap us from our sweet dreams with her 6.30 am morning call.
And in the room, I found this :
No, it is not sixth sense. It is six sex. WTF? I don't think it can even last through your 'first sex'.
If you think this blog is beginning to taste salty instead of sweet, just endure because this is the last Perhentian post I have left to share. Hmm... But reading about this is better than reading about what I ate and where I partied, isn't it?
