Thursday, July 16, 2009

I have a Secret! is now

Please change your links & bookmarks to catch your latest updates there~ Site is under construction; might take some time, but it'll surprise you!

Stay tune~! *;)

xo xo

Monday, July 13, 2009

Like a Princess.

yesterday, someone named Someone told me to "think classy", or to "be like a princess". i understood Someone's point, but it took me a while to picture what Someone expected from me.

the first image that came to my head was all these korean drama princesses loaded with fucking heavy atrocious laces, walking around kik kok-kik kok in their heels, wearing make-up at home for wallpapers to see. but i suppose, that was not what Someone meant.

perhaps being a prince in korea is worse. i mean, look at them!!

coming from a (very, i emphasize VERY) small town, in johor, i grew up with barbies and toy cookeries; but there was more to that.

there was the cycling & bleeding, the stealing jasmine flowers & frying them on milo lids, the rubber game (we called it zero singapore for god knows why), throwing rocks into the hamsap ustaz's window who rubbed his fingers on 10 years old muslim girls' pussies while preaching about 'agama'...

those are not princessy deeds, are they?

this was when it started - the cycling thing. but with lipstick on. SEE?!

no one is BORN a princess. a princess must be TRAINED to be a princess. and she has to WANT to be a fucking princess. most city girls ARE princesses and though i now live in the CITY, but my home is still the jungle. that's where i came from.

when i was in my teens, i cursed a lot. hello, we are Johorians. mostly hokkiens. i'm not saying ALL hokkien johorians curse, but i was one who grew up listening to kanina, lin lao hia, linbu, linkun, lan jiao tua, chao cibai... everyday. i said, every. day. in school. i was the only chinese girl in class with 10 other chinese boys; what do u expect?

a princess today?

after spm, i went for national service. i marched hell lot. when i was in high school, i taught marching. i'm amazed at myself that i can still walk in heels today. but hey, even so, i don't let the heels control me! i wear them to feel sexy, but i kick them off bloody heels when i feel pain. princesses can't do that! but i suppose again, that this was not Someone meant either.


so what did Someone mean?

in college & uni, i was in a performing arts course - acting. u learned to express yourself. every feeling that you experience, you feel, you remember them. you keep them deep inside you so when you're onstage, you have your bank of 'savings'.

that's how i can shake off a laugh and cry in 17 seconds (fastest record so far) when my character needs to. we students, were trained that way, and that skill, be it a good or bad one, has been implanted in me.


what do people usually mean, when they say a girl is 'so princessy'. demanding, i suppose? i am. a drama queen. and as i say this, i am not proud of it. i'm not celebrating it. but i am embracing myself (you should because in the end of the day, only you would) because i understand myself so well about where i am coming from. and i despise anyone who is my friend, but is actually secretly hoping for a change in me.

i can be very demanding. dead if you are my boyfriend. but only if you are an unromantic boyfriend. so does that mean i have a 'princess' attitude? be i a princess or not, why is this even a matter. huh? why.

you either like it, take it, or leave a princess. a princess doesn't go to you. and that doesn't mean a normal girl can't do that as well.

Kenny once said that i am a failed princess. i totally agree. i never found the words to describe myself, until he put those two words together.


screaming like a to-be-slaughtered chicken? - FAILED.

so what in your opinion did Someone mean? i don't know. maybe if Someone were to judge this picture, Someone would say i should've screamed with my mouth close!

i won't deny that i love to be like a princess. after all, i am a girl and i enjoy dressing up in nice fabrics & heels, putting on lip gloss & shuttering those lashes...

dreaming of prince charming on my 'princess' bed?

but deep inside, i do believe that your childhood shapes who you are today. they are qualities - i have mine, and you have yours. you can't deny them or act like you don't know them. for those who doesn't have any, too bad because you only live once and you can't turn back time to be a kid again.

but if anyone, anyone, tells you to change (not a bad habit but) a quality in you, don't ever do it.


trust me, there are so many people out there, and there will be Someone who appreciates you for who you are, be you a princess or a fake princess like Cinderella.

Saturday, July 11, 2009


I think you'll love this post. Cuz I do, and it's all about Shanghai, baybeh. All about Shanghai. For the past few entries it has been about China, and I even when I was there, I was DYING to reach Shanghai. I'm not saying HangZhou, Suzhou, or WuXi wasn't fun, but Shang is THE Hai! :D

Continuing from our 5 stars hotel, here is where we had our breakfast.

Paus and hams were the highlights. I had been eating so much for the past 4 days in China it is not funny.

After breakfast, we headed to a pearl factory. Here is where dad bought me something fit for a princess. ^^

This picture is made out of pearls and only pearls. Only the frame is made out of wood.

Ever wondered where pearls came from?

Grotesque, I know~

But lOOk!

How they do it.

These are REAAAAALLLL pearls, man.

Everyone wanted to buy pearls for ama, but ama was kinda blurred out. lol

Choosing THE right pearl necklace wasn't easy.

China is famous for two types of pearls - the
gold pearl and the purple pearl. In those days, only the Emperor could wear the gold ones. But today,,, heck it!

dad got me a GOLD PEARL! =P

Deformed pearls were grounded and made into powder. Mum bought me a packet of this. You can either add a bit of this into your drinks, or use it as a facial mask. It is VERY, VERY cooling and effective. My grandma uses this since forever~ I lurve it! ;D

For those who likes dogs, I saw this handsome beast outside the factory.

Next, is a teapot factory. Sorry guys, not Shanghai YET. Right after this:

Huge ass teapots.. I could probably fit 20 heads in there!

China's most honorable teapot makers and their famous teapots.

Not made out of normal clay, but these wonderful naturally coloured stones after they were polished.

After lunch, it was time to say goodbye to our tour guide from Wu Xi.

Who was so sweet; he gave us this pair of clay dolls each. Awww~

Now it's time to board the bus and head off to Shanghai~!

Draw the blinds, it is time for nap nap!!


wOO hOO~! Check out the gust of wind, man! It's not caused by nature, but blown as a swarm of people walked by.

That's the angle you need so you don't look like concrete buildings empowered you.

Even ama wants to stand up straight and tall~ ^^

Let's see... How many people here do you think might potentially have swine flu?

Bought a summer dress for about 35 bucks along this Nan Jing street. DAMN CHEAP!!

However, I'm not here to blog about fashion in Shanghai. Surprisingly, I thought that would be the case, but no! It is the FOOD.

I'm NOT kidding you.

Enough of the traveling and shopping, dinner was at
Hong Zi Chicken.

What's special about this place is the chicken, of course...

The black piece is the head.

And also, the waiters!!!!!

Check out this video.

Apparently, they all have to be trained like that to work there BECAUSE.....

Look. At. The. VARIETY. Of. Dishes. They. OFFER!!! =D... *drools*

It's not shopping for groceries, it's shopping for DISHES!!! :O

The following is not for the faint hearted:

Look at my face and tell me what is it I'm seeing.

They are sea intestines. EWWW!!! Don't you think they look like @#$%s?! FML.

See your 40 years old virgin aunt eating this over the dining table and watch her orgasm.

This is one way you could cook it. For her...

One of those things that freaks my balls out (
IF I have em'), but still enjoy eating so much.

Crocodile meat. You know the term '
when the buying stops, the killing stops'? It sounds about correct, but seriously come think about it. How can you stop the buying amongst 6.7682 billion people? So what you could do is,,,

Burn the consumers imaginary pocket before they can even think about it.

Dad and I were busy noticing the weird, peculiar stuff around us; like the above, while mum, as motherly as ever, didn't seem to be bothered by any of em' at all! Maybe I should learn how to be more lady-like like her. She, on the other hand, observed how the chefs in China made Roti Canai!

Roti Canai Pisang.

Roti Canai is served in BIG restaurants in China, made by the hands of professional CHEFS.

In Malaysia, we eat them at mamak stalls while thirsty mosquitoes suck our high cholestrol blood.

If I were a piece of Roti Canai, I would choose to live in China. I would then be served on a golden plate like this! Oh and mind you, they don't look this ugly --- this plate is only the sides of the roti given FREE to mum and I because the chef thought we were SO JAKUN we've never seen such pastry! LOL~ Padahal, we were just too amazed to see how come this thing exists in China. But thanks, chefo.

One hasn't experienced Shanghai if s/he hasn't witnessed the beauty of this metropolitan city at night.

Why do you think people add the word 'Ye' (night) before the name 'Shanghai'?

There was a Chow Yun Fatt movie shot in this row of hotels if I'm not mistaken. Some kinda famous movie.. But I'm not really interested in Chinese films so...

Heading to Wai Nan Tunnel.

It is truly amaazzzinggg. You guys must watch this video of it.

You'll hear a lot of jakun uu-ee-aa noises from mostly me, my apologies. HA HA HA!!!

On the way to Jin Mao Tower, we saw a few grandeur architecture pencakar langits:

Jin Mao Tower has 88 Levels, and now we are going to the 88TH level!! (you know why is it a big deal? cuz for example, the Twin Towers might have more levels, but you can't actually go till the highest floor. however, in Jin Mao tower you can!)

The red dot signifies which level you're at. It takes approximately only 45 seconds to reach the top.

Our tour guide chose to take us to Jin Mao instead of this tower, because only then can we see the beauty of it from where we were.

Looks like this is the last picture I took with my short hair. ^^

Inspired by bamboo, this hotel was built.

Oh I bumped into Jackie Chan and I pulled him away from the kids!!! If only that was real.

Our timing was excellent as we didn't have to queue when we entered, but when we exited, apparently the queue ended where the bus stopped! Alhamdullilah....

Back to the hotel, brother and I was super happy. Not because of the modern design:

Not a fan of fluorescent lights..

But the alarm clock slash iPod speakers rocks! :DDDDD

Sadly, I didn't get to enjoy that facility. However, it was a good thing that we stayed there for 2 nights.

Why I didn't get to jump on my bed to Lady Gaga's Poker Face with Eu was because of this. So I guess it is not a bad thing after all..... <3>