Tuesday, March 24, 2009

We are something that starts with B.

Thoughts are drawn to me when I am either driving, or bathing. Never had I once sat down just to think in purpose. That's just silly. But it's best if you don't write in the shower, or hold a voice recorder while driving. Having that said, many thoughts had passed me by like birds in the sky - you never catch them flying, do you?

If thoughts could be weigh, I think I lost a tonne. I want to jot down these thoughts here today; but there's a same old theory that constantly attacks this weak will.

It's like when someone asks if you are okay. Have you ever thought: "of course I'm okay, or I won't be standing here but lying on a hospital bed!", but instead, you replied "yes I am okay, thank you very much"?

Or when there comes a point where it feels like all the people around you couldn't make decisions especially when it comes to food and turn to ask You instead: I was like...

"JESUS I eat EVERY and ANY thing now could you PLEASE make up your freaking MIND and SURPRISE me?! It's not like anyone would DIE!!!"

Is that not true? That no one will die? What's the big deal of who eating what? When the same old question is being asked around so much, I compare the importance of its existence to the Universe and realize it's less than a PECK of dust! Or a dried duck beak under a river rock.

I only know what I DON'T want, I rarely say what I want, or everyone would be eating Kimchi 3 meals a day with me.

To summarize all that, this could also means "it's not like I would DIE if I don't write down my thoughts, and NO one will DIE not reading them anyways". The world still breathes.

Perhaps this is just a stupid weird theory of mine; as no one will die not doing anything but then the World won't function - Like a petrol station without petrol. Or a fireman who is afraid of fire.

I don't know if I should be saying this, but if you think you are also something that starts with B, read on.

There are blogs I read read, some I simply enjoy, some I just glance at their pictures, and there are even those which I leave comments just because he or she does too.

I know these people. And I wonder, (I'm not saying I won a big victory but) if it wasn't because of that online model reality show crap, will any of them even look at me today?

Why "no" seems to be a more convincing answer.

2005. I was a girl who battled to keep her blog personal, but at the same time wanted to be read. Then sharing personal stories seems interesting, but no one bothers to read me.

So I went to many people's blogs, became very rajin leaving comments at famous and infamous blogs alike... no one noticed my existence.

Then the cam-whoring trend started. I got myself a camera. People saw my face. Some advert-thrist bloggers layan me, while the "famous" ones still don't give a shit. I remember them. And today they talk to me. Why do I think this sounds funny???

Today, I live to blog and I blog to live. I'm furious because it sounds like a happy thought, but with a touch of irony to it. And you can't be too real sometimes, as everyone is a bit fake. You want to get there, you play your cards well. If you can't, at LEAST don't make yourself look like a "try-hard" fella. You know what I mean?

Sometimes when I get an advert that I really cannot relate to; or when the clients are reaalllyyy miserable and fussy, it hurts my ass. That's when I think "people who really has a life doesn't blog".

But again, how do you judge if someone "has a life" or not? Can you tell?


Love (makes you happy) ,

Life (drives you crazy) ,

Living (brings you future) .

Eri and I went to a non-profit FOC project call "
Love, Life, Living" photo session at Ampang 3 days ago.

NO heavy make-up, lip gloss, and accessories. Guys will have to be topless while girls in a tank or tube (unless you have to wear a tudung).

That was the 1st time I was
sooo bersemangat to do something for free. Plus, if you want your pictures instantly, just bring your thumb drive!

This project is about UNITY amongst Malaysians: Se-bangsa, Se-negara, Se-Malaysia.

In 2012, everyone's face who took part will be projected onto each lil' KLCC windows in conjunction of Malaysia's
55th Merdeka Day. I'm truly very excited!

Amongst the people who took part are international model Amber Chia, M'sian Idol Daniel Lee, NTV7's Breakfast Show's Will Quah, and 1st Malaysian Dreamgirl.....


Love, Life, and Living (gives you You).

Now, who can say this with me?

i Love my Life, and the ways i'm Living my life.

my Life is about Loving to Live, and Living to Love.

Living gives me Love... and Life.