Little Things

i stared at the blinking | looking poker-faced. this thing has no dimension, no shape, no texture. not interesting, very dull. but it has a movement. no matter how long you stare at it, it'll still blink perpetually. it stands all alone in such a stupid expressionless vacuous white box so wide in length; but still it sends a continuous, calm, equable, and persistent pulse. | never gives up. what about us?

i tried my best to make it move to the right as far as i could from the start. run words, RUN! faster, Faster, FASTERRR!!! but again i paused. again. and again. adoi! AGAIN! then it goes back to the start. i just HAD TO press backspace! there is a thousand kind of scrabble words in my kiasu head but they just couldn't win the myriad calmness of this strange weed; |. and so i ask you, what does it take to be at the top of the world? erudition?, or a boost of patience?. don't tell me both, choose only one.

to endure means to put up with something or somebody. i have a never-ending list of tedious and banausic things to deal, or endure with everyday. why.

to endure my computer procrastination. to endure six or seven blinking orange bars starring at me rushing me to reply. you start typing the first two words in window 3, and you get a nudge from window 6 - ignore it and press enter; window 6 reads what you bitched about window 1 to window 3. thanks to the person who created Nudges. and making them even worse than ever! - you can get multiple UNLIMITED nudges @ MESS with MSN or even translating it into a BUZZ (as if its better). -_____-"

to endure.

to endure how deep the 10000000000 molecules of my Lancome foundation travel into my pores and clogging it. maybe if i were to wring my face like a damn wet towel, eight blocks of butter foundation will form. to endure the question of what to eat everyday. to eat weight watchers food. be a carnivore you smell like a goat. be an omnivore you complain about your weight. be a herbivore all you can do is hibernate; let alone performing. to not be anything and eat nothing at all you get gastric and a good faint with your face on the ground. to eat again you feel bloated like a balloon or a swimming ring.

to worry.

life has become too predictable. i am worry why is it so, though duh, because its Tasmania. life after Tasmania is going to be wayyy too unpredictable, i am worry i can't see my future at all. my friends told me to take things one at a time and that everything will be fine, i am worry how they know that when they never see me at all. and i worry why i worry about what i worry because that is not even about me anymore.

but all i can do is endure. enduring the things i worry about.

worry about how long you spoke on the phone. worry about how much radiation went through your ears to your brain. worry about how long you bathed. worry about how much detergent you sent flowing to the drain. worry how long have you borrowed that book and why you always forget it everytime. worry why you asked yourself if that is forgetful or inconsiderate but never get the answer. worry why Words kept underlining your words red, and why there's also green.worry about how loud you sing. worry about how much water you drank. worry more how much honey you drink. worry when its your turn to get diabetes.

i worry why people say i am all about pink. i worry about what Britney Spears have become. i worry why i dont worry he didnt call. i worry about people i rejected. i worry why people fail themselves before i fail them. i worry i worry i worry!!!

have you ever wonder what noise you make, when you sleep with another person beside your bed? have you ever wonder why its hard for you to ask if your girl friend ever masturbates? have you asked yourself why you never worry? because i never. because i always worry. worrying has become part of my life until i don't feel its worth worrying anymore why i do. and doesnt this sound like i am?

i am worrying what will you think about me; reading this mother fucking long essay which made "worry" a zero worry word now. but i'll still endure it. swallowing is hard when its not food, says a cute omnivore.