Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Angel Wears Gucci in The Little Blue Moon of Korsia (13 Dec 2006)

Angel Wears Gucci in The Little Blue Moon of Korsia

I lengthened my neck, stretched it to have a peep outside the window. The glass did not block my view, but my head, indeed. I peered harder & saw the little moon of Korsia. There she stood; printed on the dark blue sky b4 sun rise. I knew she never moves, but she didn't seem lonely to me, as the car was moving along the extremely winding road. I stared at her, & she stared back at me without eyes, but her small, tiny face. I blinked & winked then giggled to myself, giving my heart, not on my lips, a tingling sensation. Making my dad questioning & thinking that I was crazy would I not.

I smiled. I smiled? I smiled! I smiled to the moon. Not a human being, not an animal, neither a plant, nor a living creature. But a small...stone.

My iPod nano was playing some Korean numbers in my ears as I traveled, making my smile wider. Rain. "Da Myung Da Myung~" Orwh~~ haha!
(Try Rain's "Ahn Nyong Ee Lan Mal Dae Shin Remix" if U want to know what I mean!) Looking straight, I saw rows & rows & rows of trees in... rows. Its so dark deep down there even with the shines of the Korsia moon. I did not look at her all along; straining my neck & eyes would only spoil her beauty after a while. I closed my eyes, recording this pleasant sensation in my soul. I was not happy, but I was 'now', which surprised me.

As I flashed my eyelids a couple of times, the little moon dissapeared. The sun rising up from nowhere, brightened the whole piece of bluish-grey sky. My smile was gone as well, with her; my fairy.

B4 dawn, many things happened. I would not suprise myself living in a world without magic.

A week ago, I fought vf my parents. Then my maid got fired bcuz of her stubbornness & laziness. I shldn't & shld say that despite being a Scorpio, I m really a very kind-hearted person. Bcuz of what my grandma is, I blif. I don't 1 2 go in2 Y I fought vf my parents or what I felt 4 tht monkey, but what I can conclude is that I can't & know not how 2 show love, but I m really a girl vf a kind, loving heart! :( Neither do I 1 2 go in2 how unkind a Scorpio can b~

As I left the path from Korsia, I c my dad's friend helping him drive his Benz while he began talking & monkey doing her monkey face. I slept at 1, woke up at 3, & left house at 6 a.m. P/S: The 2 things I cant bare with is coffee & insufficient sleep! They make me blurr & "mabuk"! With the "more-than-enough-rest" I had, I was already on my way to KL, again. Whats the rush? I'm going 4 a interview 4 8TV, my internship.

We reached at 9, brought monkey 2 her agent, & rushed back 2 Sunway 2 get my transcript as I got the offer when I was at Johor. From there, we rushed 2 8TV where I was interviewed thRice! An indian, a malay, a chinese. Ahaks! How Malaysian Malaysia is, huh? I was interviewed twice 1st, asked to cm bk at 2 p.m c them work, & its only 11 a.m. So, dad took me 4 lunch at Puchong, back to Sunway, & I drove up 2 Damansara again myself. This time changed to jeans & sneakers rather than Anne H in Devil Wears Prada's 1st day 2 work outfit cuz I don bring bk any clothes bk 2 Jhr. I was blurr aft the more waiting & during the interview(s) b4. Now tht I bathed, I was more refreshed though I still feel dizzy & feeling like I needed 2 puke. Blurringly I familiarized myself vf the roads thr & entered the TV station. I was interviewed the 3rd time...

"Cindy, meet my senior, Melvin"
"Hi, I'm Melvin. I want to have a talk with U"
"Ok, this is not an interview, it's more of a get-2-knw-U" session. So, did U bring ur' resume?"

Ya, yah~ Yes, Melvin. It's NOT an interview. The 2nd line aft tht line is an interview. So there goes the 3RD interview. I got pissed aft being turned & spinned around bt I kept my cool. We both agreed that I cant maximize what I learnt from performing arts in this company & that I cant benefit them 2 the fullest so my request was hanged, there. I was allowed 2 stay 2 watch them work still though.

"U can wait here, & grab a computer. U can go online"

& so I grab 1 & emailed Red Com again. (Fucking 8TV mk me felt as if I got it & now playin vf me) I browsed Friendster then while actually sms-ing my dad, saying tht I 1 2 go home vf him l8r. Suddenly, I got up my chair, gathered pieces of me, smiled 2 myself, & walked to Dora, the 2nd interviewer.

"I think I got to go" ...
& I did.

I walked out the building proudly. I felt SO FREE 4 the 1ST time in my LIFE! I mean, FREE 4 da 1ST time in a different way. I felt H.A.P.P.Y! I jingled out the gate & ran 2 my car. I drove 2 1U, got a good parking place, bought 2 shirts 4 mum as 2mrw is her birthday, left 4 Sunway, & bk 2 Johor again.

If U rmbred me stating, I fought vf my parents? More of vf my mum actually. But I questioned myself Y was I happy I left, Y was I happy I bought her sthing, Y was I happy getting in2 the fuss making myself tired travelling up & down... I think I know the answer but does she? The main reason we fought is bcuz she cant feel my love. Shalt I shout mum I love thee?
I know if I dont go back after coming up, I cant patch things up vf her anymore. I'll b working, leaving 2 aussie b4 CNY, & when? Bt then I did go bk, loose a job at TV3 instead, & got blamed by every1 4 not putting 1st things 1st..... I really know not what 2 do; going back is wrong, not going back is too.. only in a different way~

I searched for my lil' moon tht night. But she is nowhere 2 b seen. Imagine a day starting b4 dawn, without sunset bt a downpour, & the sun is gone. ...Have U ever wonder Y the moon from Korsia? I swear by the moon I shalt kiss thy lips if thou can guess this right.

Anyway, reverse 1 day, on mum's bday, we went Malacca. I woke up early despite the tireness, greet her, & everthing bcame fine. It wasn't days b4 though I did so. I knew tht moment I made the right / 'right' choice. My X was a Malacca boy so we went there several times b4. So my dad kinda expect me 2 knw the roads & routes thr 2 eat their delicacies when I cant recall the history at all. My head was painful, heavy, dizzy, wizzy, woozy, a black dough of those. But me being the 1 who gets dizzy in cars tried searching 4 the shops they 1ed 2 go. I mean, Hello~ it's mum's Birthday! Despite my head, my stomach didnt feel well either. But I ate, ate, & ate. Do U knw the formula?: Bad Head + Bad Stomach = Puke -.-"
But thank God I did not.

So I went back, thought I cld sleep earlier bt did nt, & the next day fought vf some1 stupid enough 2 bring up the past.
What is said aint clear enough? If I can trust U Y cant U trust I?
I am sick when I thought of thee. Nay, thou art such a coil!

Today, I cm up 2 KL alone by bus. I felt weird sitting in my empty 'room' with my matress without pinky's pink sheets. I miss everything I had... & who do I have??? Hahahah..!

Well, Winson picked me up at Pudu, got saman a.k.a rasuah, I felt guilty, we went 2 Mid Valley, ate, watched movie, window-shopped, ate again, & headed back. On d way home, he suddenly stroked my head in empathy as if I m his little sister & asked if I m tired. I was touched as he was the only 1 who could c the fatigue on my face. As obvious as it is on my eyes, he was the only who cld c how heavy they felt despite d make-up. I felt like putting my arms around him & cry. Cry, & CRY like a lil' girl... I know he will listen, I will always BE right & will always be ALright. Bt I did not do so...
I know who cares & not say while who says but cares least. I shall not blame those far away, but the truth remains in the heart...