I sit by the shore,
and close my eyes,
feeling the waves pushing me hard.
I see them as punishments for every moment that I am missing you.
I shut my eyes;
where lashes meet lashes,
and I wish hard for a pair of strong, warm arms -
wrapping me up;
saving me from this sin.
But nothing happened.
So I hang my head down in shame,
to have such a thought of you,
but then I pray harder that when I open my eyes,
you will be standing here right in front of me.
Too far?
You are too far.
Yes I know;
I am here, you are there...
It's O.K! I know.
So I wish instead;
when I open this pair of wishful eyes,
I will still see you right in front of me,
at the opposite island.
It is still far, but it's O.K.
As long as I can see you,
it doesn't matter how small you seem,
because I can scream.
I can scream your name out loud;
and say:
I, Miss, You.
I miss you so so much I could cry.
That my heart is screaming in the sea you hear?
I finally open my eyes,
and look around,
to see that I am the only one left in this deep blue sea.
The tide is high, and I am not holding on.
I look so hard at the block of island opposite me,
but I see shit.
I stood up;
to find scratches from broken corals on my legs,
I do not feel when I am dreaming of you.
I write your name,
on the sand in the sea,
where only fishes can see,
till the day I will kiss you goodbye;
again.
Showing posts with label Poem Flick. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Poem Flick. Show all posts
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
The Little Rain
Saturday, May 5, 2007
Lost In The Library
Lost In The Library (& Everything Under The Sun)
I make my way through the solitary paths of books with a great effort. Avoiding --A sense of lost in knowledge; the exaggerated lack of it, the lust to embrace it with a million arms slaving from own self, how global is knowledge???
I rewind the time machine and allow myself to immerse in the period where writers like Shelly, Coleridge, and Bradbury lived. I am seeing the world now. The ladies wearing curtain lamp flocks and the men in white permed hair like lawyers in tuxes. I, am the only one in a milk color sweater, cute orange blouse, black opaque leggings, and chunky accessories from the 1970's, my golden earrings dangling happily over my shoulders. Surprisingly, no one looked at me. Feeling invisible, I'm still aware of my presence; tingling the tip of my fingers along my skin and coating my pink lungs with dusty air under the setting sun as the busy hooves of the handsome brown horses kick the sand. A little soil get into my eyes where the green lenses habituate. I come from the future; their antidote.
I see Shelly flirting with Ophelia from Hamlet in an old coffee shop! I never know she exists in this world~ Now I know she does! It seems like they just know each other and are having a good time together. The edges of my lips curve up. I love seeing people happy.
I turn around and this time, see Wordsworth and William Blake on a debate.
"He was and still will be gay if he was alive now."
"No, he wasn't and will NOT be! I shalt bet ten pounds that I can prove thee wrong!"
"Prove it then, my dear friend. How do you come about doing this?"
Whether Shakespeare is gay. True, I wonder how is Blake going to prove that! They don't even have a library, or at least, I don't see one anywhere nearby here.
Sigh. Shakespeare had long be gone and everyone from all generations still can't bother to let the poor old corpse, or even dust, go to rest in peace. All I can see is his books along my feet, across my breasts, afloating above my ribbon securing my hair; Twelfth Night, Much Ado About Nothing, A Midsummer Night's Dream, King Lear, the list goes on; a quartet of the same book for every single play he wrote. I wonder why is Hamlet such a big deal. To me, it's just a tragic play with creatively heightened made up characters to fight and win the average of reality.
Turn around again and now spot naked Prometheus and Ophelia making out in a coach attach to the shiny polished brown horses! So, Ophelia is actually a slut. Good gracious~ Perhaps Prometheus's liver should regrow five times faster and eaten twice a day by the birds everyday instead of once. Men, men, men. The ke-jantan-ess...
My watch shows 3 p.m. but the I hear the city clock tower strikes 12 noon. I am afraid, I don't know why. I can't find the damn clock!!! Something weird happened. The coach where the two nudes are making out suddenly shakes like crazy and turns into a pumpkin! I never know what happen to them after that, as I am now turn into a form of tiger pancake mixture ; dragged into the world of fables. Maybe they are having a baby inside there now which will then lead to the story of the farmer and his wife who couldn't give birth which are then granted a son in a pumpkin,,, That is Prometheus and Ophelia's chromosomes's persilangan... EwWw~!!! Who knows...
I touch the black printed ink on an old book of yellow, brown stained pages. An old quaint antique scent, a hundred times richer than a Prada dress arouses my senses. I feel the luxury of being lost in my past childhood times.....
As my fingertips run along the lines with my eyes close like a blind, I hear my mum's mellifluous voice lullabying my soul. It's ringing in my ears now... Rhyme... rhyme... & rhyme... I rhyme a nursery rhyme reading from my memory, faraway from the pages. A woman's thin, cold hands took me off the ground and we swing across the green meadows circled around short white fences. She is my breeze, my song, my angel, my mother. I hear a cough and open my eyes. I am lost in a library. The sounds of coughing itchy phlegm, intense inhaling of jammy sinuses, the falling and flipping of books on iron shelves; I am most interrupted by my very own breath. --I miss my mummy.
Where is the man call Ibsen? A man of all men who wrote million plays but he I admire the most; a play called "A Doll's House" by Henrik Ibsen.
From tick to tock;
of time in a clock,
I run and hide;
escape but still can't find,
Why oh why;
are You still on my mind .
I am now on a train INside A doll's house. Can you picture it?
From romance to realism in a world within, I got a book entitled Worlds Within by Egoff -Children's Fantasy From The Middle Ages To Today, Why & Wherefores by Martin Gardner, The Powerbook by Jeanette Winterson, and some others. The Powerbook is now already my FAVOURITE BOOK. Awesome, fantastically BRILLIANT, contemporary, sexy, evocative, quaint.
A lady in A portrait, I see Myself. Lost in Reality, Found in a Dream ? Maybe vice versa, maybe... Not.
I laser my eyes through the book's cover which recalls me of one of my best friends; Joylynn.
-A very understanding special friend who is also an elder sister, a helping hand, with a pair of generous ears. She is now a kite whose string I let loose unintentionally... released?
Once mine, but never will come back as the same layang-layang again. What is a real friendship? There is no answer to that. Some good one leaves, some bad ones turned good, some stay the same. Or at least, I still hope.
I eyeballs slip down my throat for a while to peep at my shaking and trembling uvula; in thrist, in cold, after this long, long, lost dusty journey. How long has it been since I last warm up my voice? She sounds even more deaf now that I'm in a boring enticing library adventure.
My newly manicured hot pink nails run along the vertebrates of these books I see, making a repetitive clicking rhythm. Radio, TV, & Film. --The Secrets of Script Writing. How to Make A Good Play Great? THE Book of Great Directors. Radio Plays and Ways. AARRGGHHH~~!!!!
My neck is aching. My head is spinning. My eyes are rolling like a jackpot. I Don't Care! Is there a book called "I Don't Care??!" I'm hit by a ton of bricks!
My dreams...
-I don't want to get into that but yet how stupid I am for I will.
I've always wanted it. It's all I ever want. To catch the biggest, shiniest STAR from the galaxies, grab it with my very own hands; piercing it's thorny edges through my palms, squeezing the blood out of it; dry. It will then penetrate into my rushing blood like a zillion micro, tiny, shiny stars like passionate viruses, making the wave flows with glitters on a long, red carpet leading to infinity, eternity..........
Fame. Cameras.
This is my dream.
-I do want to get into this but yet how clever I am for I did; differently each time I do.
-I'm sorry.
Sitting down, I look at my own eyes through a thin glass across a desk; a wooden shelf covering my nose and lips, my brown eyes, they are not symmetrical. My green lenses, they make plastic real.
What IS beauty? As long as you have the property, anyone can be beautiful. Just don't mind the word --Plastic.
I dance - my way - through the last - diverge -
And on - my journey - I saw a figure -
A new figure - I thought it was you -
(not Gill, not Charlie, not Yong Xien, No, not the Malay guy I learn to like, No, not the cousin I love for 9 years, not Lee the playboy)
It is him - I can't say - his name - out loud -
It is him - who never - I feel - "thought was me" -
It is me - I thought - the song is for -
But alas!
The music - is yours -
And for God.
He is - the sword - I love - unintentionally -
unawared -
unrequited -
An accident.
When I thought - I could never - love a man - anymore -
I was AWAKEN - by a figure - I wish - is you -
But another ; - stranger - who loves me -
Just like I - love you -
Finds me - in a lost - library.
He comes - to me - and sat - by my side -
But I walk away -
Only...
Only wanting - the possibility - for either you - or me - the both of us - will be -
? .
-Quaintly me.
I make my way through the solitary paths of books with a great effort. Avoiding --A sense of lost in knowledge; the exaggerated lack of it, the lust to embrace it with a million arms slaving from own self, how global is knowledge???
I rewind the time machine and allow myself to immerse in the period where writers like Shelly, Coleridge, and Bradbury lived. I am seeing the world now. The ladies wearing curtain lamp flocks and the men in white permed hair like lawyers in tuxes. I, am the only one in a milk color sweater, cute orange blouse, black opaque leggings, and chunky accessories from the 1970's, my golden earrings dangling happily over my shoulders. Surprisingly, no one looked at me. Feeling invisible, I'm still aware of my presence; tingling the tip of my fingers along my skin and coating my pink lungs with dusty air under the setting sun as the busy hooves of the handsome brown horses kick the sand. A little soil get into my eyes where the green lenses habituate. I come from the future; their antidote.
I see Shelly flirting with Ophelia from Hamlet in an old coffee shop! I never know she exists in this world~ Now I know she does! It seems like they just know each other and are having a good time together. The edges of my lips curve up. I love seeing people happy.
I turn around and this time, see Wordsworth and William Blake on a debate.
"He was and still will be gay if he was alive now."
"No, he wasn't and will NOT be! I shalt bet ten pounds that I can prove thee wrong!"
"Prove it then, my dear friend. How do you come about doing this?"
Whether Shakespeare is gay. True, I wonder how is Blake going to prove that! They don't even have a library, or at least, I don't see one anywhere nearby here.
Sigh. Shakespeare had long be gone and everyone from all generations still can't bother to let the poor old corpse, or even dust, go to rest in peace. All I can see is his books along my feet, across my breasts, afloating above my ribbon securing my hair; Twelfth Night, Much Ado About Nothing, A Midsummer Night's Dream, King Lear, the list goes on; a quartet of the same book for every single play he wrote. I wonder why is Hamlet such a big deal. To me, it's just a tragic play with creatively heightened made up characters to fight and win the average of reality.
Turn around again and now spot naked Prometheus and Ophelia making out in a coach attach to the shiny polished brown horses! So, Ophelia is actually a slut. Good gracious~ Perhaps Prometheus's liver should regrow five times faster and eaten twice a day by the birds everyday instead of once. Men, men, men. The ke-jantan-ess...
My watch shows 3 p.m. but the I hear the city clock tower strikes 12 noon. I am afraid, I don't know why. I can't find the damn clock!!! Something weird happened. The coach where the two nudes are making out suddenly shakes like crazy and turns into a pumpkin! I never know what happen to them after that, as I am now turn into a form of tiger pancake mixture ; dragged into the world of fables. Maybe they are having a baby inside there now which will then lead to the story of the farmer and his wife who couldn't give birth which are then granted a son in a pumpkin,,, That is Prometheus and Ophelia's chromosomes's persilangan... EwWw~!!! Who knows...
I touch the black printed ink on an old book of yellow, brown stained pages. An old quaint antique scent, a hundred times richer than a Prada dress arouses my senses. I feel the luxury of being lost in my past childhood times.....
As my fingertips run along the lines with my eyes close like a blind, I hear my mum's mellifluous voice lullabying my soul. It's ringing in my ears now... Rhyme... rhyme... & rhyme... I rhyme a nursery rhyme reading from my memory, faraway from the pages. A woman's thin, cold hands took me off the ground and we swing across the green meadows circled around short white fences. She is my breeze, my song, my angel, my mother. I hear a cough and open my eyes. I am lost in a library. The sounds of coughing itchy phlegm, intense inhaling of jammy sinuses, the falling and flipping of books on iron shelves; I am most interrupted by my very own breath. --I miss my mummy.
Where is the man call Ibsen? A man of all men who wrote million plays but he I admire the most; a play called "A Doll's House" by Henrik Ibsen.
From tick to tock;
of time in a clock,
I run and hide;
escape but still can't find,
Why oh why;
are You still on my mind .
I am now on a train INside A doll's house. Can you picture it?
From romance to realism in a world within, I got a book entitled Worlds Within by Egoff -Children's Fantasy From The Middle Ages To Today, Why & Wherefores by Martin Gardner, The Powerbook by Jeanette Winterson, and some others. The Powerbook is now already my FAVOURITE BOOK. Awesome, fantastically BRILLIANT, contemporary, sexy, evocative, quaint.
A lady in A portrait, I see Myself. Lost in Reality, Found in a Dream ? Maybe vice versa, maybe... Not.
I laser my eyes through the book's cover which recalls me of one of my best friends; Joylynn.
-A very understanding special friend who is also an elder sister, a helping hand, with a pair of generous ears. She is now a kite whose string I let loose unintentionally... released?
Once mine, but never will come back as the same layang-layang again. What is a real friendship? There is no answer to that. Some good one leaves, some bad ones turned good, some stay the same. Or at least, I still hope.
I eyeballs slip down my throat for a while to peep at my shaking and trembling uvula; in thrist, in cold, after this long, long, lost dusty journey. How long has it been since I last warm up my voice? She sounds even more deaf now that I'm in a boring enticing library adventure.
My newly manicured hot pink nails run along the vertebrates of these books I see, making a repetitive clicking rhythm. Radio, TV, & Film. --The Secrets of Script Writing. How to Make A Good Play Great? THE Book of Great Directors. Radio Plays and Ways. AARRGGHHH~~!!!!
My neck is aching. My head is spinning. My eyes are rolling like a jackpot. I Don't Care! Is there a book called "I Don't Care??!" I'm hit by a ton of bricks!
My dreams...
-I don't want to get into that but yet how stupid I am for I will.
I've always wanted it. It's all I ever want. To catch the biggest, shiniest STAR from the galaxies, grab it with my very own hands; piercing it's thorny edges through my palms, squeezing the blood out of it; dry. It will then penetrate into my rushing blood like a zillion micro, tiny, shiny stars like passionate viruses, making the wave flows with glitters on a long, red carpet leading to infinity, eternity..........
Fame. Cameras.
This is my dream.
-I do want to get into this but yet how clever I am for I did; differently each time I do.
-I'm sorry.
Sitting down, I look at my own eyes through a thin glass across a desk; a wooden shelf covering my nose and lips, my brown eyes, they are not symmetrical. My green lenses, they make plastic real.
What IS beauty? As long as you have the property, anyone can be beautiful. Just don't mind the word --Plastic.
I dance - my way - through the last - diverge -
And on - my journey - I saw a figure -
A new figure - I thought it was you -
(not Gill, not Charlie, not Yong Xien, No, not the Malay guy I learn to like, No, not the cousin I love for 9 years, not Lee the playboy)
It is him - I can't say - his name - out loud -
It is him - who never - I feel - "thought was me" -
It is me - I thought - the song is for -
But alas!
The music - is yours -
And for God.
He is - the sword - I love - unintentionally -
unawared -
unrequited -
An accident.
When I thought - I could never - love a man - anymore -
I was AWAKEN - by a figure - I wish - is you -
But another ; - stranger - who loves me -
Just like I - love you -
Finds me - in a lost - library.
He comes - to me - and sat - by my side -
But I walk away -
Only...
Only wanting - the possibility - for either you - or me - the both of us - will be -
? .
-Quaintly me.
Sunday, April 29, 2007
Missing Summer, & Showing Skin...
Missing Summer, & Showing Skin...
It's so cold these days I believe no man would want to masturbate or their sperms would freeze inside their dick sticks.
Interlude 1
A day just like everyday, I sigh for a little bit & slip my cold feet into my golden ballet shoes. They are faithful; more than any other living creatures I know. I buckle up the little belt around my ankle, step around in a small circle to sense if they feel right, & walk out of the door. As usual.
"Nothing special today", I tell myself. Secure the earphones connecting my tiny eardrums to my lil' pink iPod my ex boyfriend sent me from the States. He himself never touches it. Benjamin, or they just call him Ben, is my first ever real boyfriend, I only had one, & so far, he is still the last.
I take off my kitten gloves from my right hand so that my thumb can scroll on the white little circle to turn on my favorite song. I don't know what its called, though I listen to it every morn along this route. My hand feels so cold she shouts for the gloves. I decide to blast the melody louder, & leave her there naked.
Perhaps that means possibility.
Or perhaps I should admit that I wish someone's hand could be her shirt instead; giving us security & provides loneliness-free feeling along my ritual-like journey as I close my eyes & skip to the campus. & by the time I reach there, she would be all warm & nice, just like his palms. He would then wait for my short breaks and after class-s, & then walk back together again. I don't know who is "he", but I wish there is a figure so. --Wishing for simplicity.
I understand the parody. Furthermore, I'm listening to a song on a pod given by someone who is considered the "first". But "he" I dream of is most likely not him anymore. Every now & then I keep telling my best friend Felicia how much I wish Ben was here, but deep down inside I know its a habit created, not love sprouted caressing the both of us. Well, our love was nurtured, not starting with all the chemistries & crushes, and of course we do love each other, but it had very sadly became a "I love you because I need you" instead of "I need you because I love you".
I continue walking, trying to keep that away from my mind. There's no point thinking, he had moved on.
Track 1 : Broken Breakfast Radio
I saw him today.
He just stood there.
He didn't see me,
didn't see me.
I found a trapped voice;
under my throat,
inside my neck,
choked.
I tried calling out his name;
but something pulled it back,
pulled him back,
pulled me back.
He stood there; starring straight,
looking forward, moving ahead,
He walked;
The light turned green.
I stood here; starring at him,
looking through him, moving to him,
I ran;
The light turned red.
"Stop!"
He said.
I heard.
I saw.
I knew he saw me.
He saw me
for the very last time,
for my very first time.
-No one died because the driver hit my ass and bounced back~! =.=
Track 2 : Sweet Heart
I dreamt of a strawberry that day
I thought it was you.
but it wasn't.
you are sweeter
Then a blueberry came by
I tasted it...
It didn't felt like you
you are sweeter.
Then I tasted the honey
I thought, that should be the taste I've been looking for
so I tried it
no.
You are sweeter.
I thought of all the sweet things I could think of
all the sweet fruits
and sweet cakes
the candies
chocolates
I tried
and wondered
but no.
you are sweeter
then I realized.
in my life,
I've never tasted anything as sweet as you
I've never felt anything as dear as you
I've never seen anything as pleasant as you
You took all the sweetness of my mouth,
my heart,
and my love,
and gave it back to me
hundred times more
How I wish I could have you
forever with me,
coz you are neither of those things I can see
nor touch
You
are my Sweet Heart
-Sugar free condense milk (can keep fit + free from diabetes!) =.=
Track 3 : The Walking Poem
I felt you there
the wind brought your smells to me
I heard your steps
the soft and clear sounds of your heels told me
I tried to walk as quiet as possible
so I could hear your steps coming closer to me
but I heard my heart as well
the wind again brought your smell to me
I thought I could fly
I flew
I couldn't feel my knees anymore
I was brought to your side
my heart was walking with you
and turning around with you
so happily
and joyfully
like a child
who found the best thing in the world
I wished the wind never stops
so I can feel you all the time
and be with you..
how I crave I could have a thousand roses in my hands
1 for every single steps you took
1 for every single day we meet
1 for every single day I kiss your lips
and 1 for every single day,
to show how much I love you
...
-Unfinished ?
Track 4 : The First Time...
The first time I see you
on the road
you flip, you ran
like a cute little girl
you ran with an angel wing
across the long grey path
as if the time stops
and all the eyes were on you
I said to myself.
YES
she's the girl
she's the crazy one.
she hip hip hop hop along the way
jumping left and right
even a rabbit would feel ashamed
a puppy couldn't even be that hoppy
she flew through all the trees
and bushes
like a road leading to a circus
so happy
so crazy
so I've decided to just stand there and laugh
-Hahahaha...!
Interlude 2
The journey to is always further, the journey back though, always feels half the distance to.
I'm always in love with the impossible or the invisible.
Track 5 : My Reply
Everyday just like everyday,
my cold feet slipped through my shoes
who walks me on the same old route
Just like everyday.
I skipped
I ran
I hopped
Never fell.
I smiled
I laughed
I hummed
All by myself.
He saw
They saw
Everyone saw
Was I performing?
An act
A dance
A song?
Do you know that the route to is just too far,
so far I couldn't not run
The route from is always so near,
so near I crawled & dragged
my shoes my cold feet slipped through
just like everyday.
Stepping on the golden crunchy crispy leaves of autumn,
Crunch Crunch Crunch
I closed my eyes, and
Walk Walk Walk
I did not skip;
When can I run
Or how can I hop
When the sounds of the cracking leaves are like melodies...
of me...
&...
Who?
I closed my eyes tighter
I saw with my ears
My heart pounding fast
Imagine hearing your footsteps
from your warm feet in your shoes
Crunching the golden flakes with mine...
...in autumn
Crunch
CrUNch
cruncH
Shall I turn back?
You tell me.
I know you wont.
& so I did.
The long, grey path...
...is empty.
I never see you,
You always see me.
I fell.
You ask me why?
How do we stand up if we never fall?
The ending is yet to come.
I stared at my wounded knee;
before my first tear could come rolling over
Your warm hands pulled me up,
You carried my home
The joy, I can't share
I want it all by myself;
selfish when it comes to love,
petty when it comes to you.
We didn't skip
We didn't run
We didn't hop
Walk never we
Turn back never we
Lonely never are we
You gave me your shoes
& carried me home,
My road is never empty
With me,
& You.
-May I love you next autumn...?
It's already 4 a.m.
Had an orgasmic hot shower to only wake up & realize all this is just a dream.
Tomorrow, will still be Just Like Everyday....
Note: The poems in blue are written by a friend of mine. Mine's the purple. (=
The Ladders of Rapunzel's Hair, How High Can They Bring You To???
The Ladders of Rapunzel's Hair, How High Can They Bring You To???
We can never escape the identification of "I". Everything you do, it's about "I".
"I" am going to the supermarket later.
"I" am hungry!
"I" love you...
"I" killed a cow~
I, I, I, I ... SSSSSSSSSS !!!
We never get tired saying that word, do we? What selfish inconsiderate brats we are! Everything we do, we say "I" first, without even having to THINK! You'll see what "I" mean later~ But how can we blame "I" myself, or you, or simply just anyone who "I"s? After all, we live in this world for OUR selves & it would be silly if we live for others as priority.
But come to think about it as well ; Have we ever get tired of living? "I" say, "I" do sometimes. & see? It's about ME again. How can "I" escape that... & WHY in the world am "I" worrying about people using "I"s too much? "I" guess "I" am getting nuts~ But... just give it a thought. If you are 20, 40, or 70 now, for yearS you live for the identification "I", how conscious are you about what you have done in your life so far?
Some thought, then ran away. Some just never do, wondering why should they.
Those with no childhood memories or simply just forget them then enter high school, struggle hard & "fight themselves" for stupid government exams which ;
honor you a piece of crappy paper they call a certificate "I" am not even sure if it is as no one needs to look at it anymore right now and "I" think its lost gone forever lazy to find Can't even remember what is the history of Parameswara or if he marries Sang Kancil Found out that Malaysian history is crap the malay king so stupid the China emperor cincai send a slave for him as a wife & he thought people so good go & damai with people send ufti somemore but even if he didn't what can he do right so can't blame that corpse Mat Kilau Mat Rempit whatever Mat all died in the end study for what Study deaths but no one ever appreciates or remember their names anyway & without them "I" will also still be here "I" am not Malay study lan People don't even know Malaysia still want to know your Tok Janggut Stupid Pendidikan Moral hafal all 100 nilai also no use now "I" curse fuck you niama cibai lanjiao so tell me study Moral got use or not Bastard black boar discipline teacher Cikgu Vasugi "I" still remember you Just because people rich you jealous want to catch people but sendiri dye hair RED like yiba yiba angeleh Wear green sari show that fat meat like can spill out anytime flood the student can deep fry in your own fat then you can eat us still dare teach me fucking English but my creative writing essay better than you all you know is grammar So tell me what is Pendidikan Moral for now that "I" am cursing a teacher here SPM shitty Maths for Malays to score only dono what the fuck is inside set A set B if this then that Ogif graph is that call maths "I" can't even remember how a pai symbol looks like only like its name cuz reminds me of apple pie from Mc D or whats the answer for 1/2 + 1/2 why is it 2/2 the above can add why the below cannot add SPM for what for what for what ???!!!
like PMR & SPM or even STPM for those who just don't know what to do after Form 5; wasted 2 more years of youth with the same damn old routine they hate, but miss then enter college after all because the universities at Malaysia are given priority for the Malays up to 70%! STUDY STUDY STUDY WORK STUDY WORK WORK, get marry, have children, love them, hate them, hit them, but give them money, MORE WORK when YOU force them to go through the routine YOU went through & that is how the world goes round. Leave that alone & let's go back to YOU, after all the hard work, are YOU still living for yourself? YOU are now sharing your life with more members YOU love, but still can't escape the identification "I"...
Are you happy?
Are YOU happy with your life?
How sure are YOU?
How happy is HAPPY???
Some people live for today, some people think for tomorrow, some still live in the past.
It's your choice.
As for me, "I" accept people for the way they are or how they do the things they do ; that's why life in this world is so beautiful... Variations means *NEW.
All our life, we struggle for what WE want. For those who live to fulfill what others want (e.g. parents, lovers, etc), I think I should send my condolences to you, unless you don't know what to do with your life anyway.
We fight, we fall, if we don't fall, how do we climb?, we laugh again & we cry.
Day, ...by day..., as time, passes by.....
What have you see? How much have you grown without realizing? "I" hope you ARE different from who you were before. (Don't get tricked, it's still not about YOU, it's still about "I"; as I hope for YOU so that "I" can be happy~)
We can't let go of our dreams & disappoint anyone; as we only live once...
But do remember of those you love throughout your journey through life; people you lovE, you once loveD, who loveS you... maybe they still do, & even if they don't anymore, you might not know when is the last time you see them, or if they can ever see you again. You might die later, so may "I". Who knows?
"I" know all this sounds corny & repeated many times by anonymousES I don't know in Friendster's Bulletin Board or forwarded email... but May there be a reason for everything that happens? Maybe it is repeated because this is what we tend to forget, & forget; to just stop for a lil' while, take a deep breath, & turn our head back to see how far we've walked.
Have you been "there" before?
I am learning myself. ^^
We can never escape the identification of "I". Everything you do, it's about "I".
"I" am going to the supermarket later.
"I" am hungry!
"I" love you...
"I" killed a cow~
I, I, I, I ... SSSSSSSSSS !!!
We never get tired saying that word, do we? What selfish inconsiderate brats we are! Everything we do, we say "I" first, without even having to THINK! You'll see what "I" mean later~ But how can we blame "I" myself, or you, or simply just anyone who "I"s? After all, we live in this world for OUR selves & it would be silly if we live for others as priority.
But come to think about it as well ; Have we ever get tired of living? "I" say, "I" do sometimes. & see? It's about ME again. How can "I" escape that... & WHY in the world am "I" worrying about people using "I"s too much? "I" guess "I" am getting nuts~ But... just give it a thought. If you are 20, 40, or 70 now, for yearS you live for the identification "I", how conscious are you about what you have done in your life so far?
Some thought, then ran away. Some just never do, wondering why should they.
Those with no childhood memories or simply just forget them then enter high school, struggle hard & "fight themselves" for stupid government exams which ;
honor you a piece of crappy paper they call a certificate "I" am not even sure if it is as no one needs to look at it anymore right now and "I" think its lost gone forever lazy to find Can't even remember what is the history of Parameswara or if he marries Sang Kancil Found out that Malaysian history is crap the malay king so stupid the China emperor cincai send a slave for him as a wife & he thought people so good go & damai with people send ufti somemore but even if he didn't what can he do right so can't blame that corpse Mat Kilau Mat Rempit whatever Mat all died in the end study for what Study deaths but no one ever appreciates or remember their names anyway & without them "I" will also still be here "I" am not Malay study lan People don't even know Malaysia still want to know your Tok Janggut Stupid Pendidikan Moral hafal all 100 nilai also no use now "I" curse fuck you niama cibai lanjiao so tell me study Moral got use or not Bastard black boar discipline teacher Cikgu Vasugi "I" still remember you Just because people rich you jealous want to catch people but sendiri dye hair RED like yiba yiba angeleh Wear green sari show that fat meat like can spill out anytime flood the student can deep fry in your own fat then you can eat us still dare teach me fucking English but my creative writing essay better than you all you know is grammar So tell me what is Pendidikan Moral for now that "I" am cursing a teacher here SPM shitty Maths for Malays to score only dono what the fuck is inside set A set B if this then that Ogif graph is that call maths "I" can't even remember how a pai symbol looks like only like its name cuz reminds me of apple pie from Mc D or whats the answer for 1/2 + 1/2 why is it 2/2 the above can add why the below cannot add SPM for what for what for what ???!!!
like PMR & SPM or even STPM for those who just don't know what to do after Form 5; wasted 2 more years of youth with the same damn old routine they hate, but miss then enter college after all because the universities at Malaysia are given priority for the Malays up to 70%! STUDY STUDY STUDY WORK STUDY WORK WORK, get marry, have children, love them, hate them, hit them, but give them money, MORE WORK when YOU force them to go through the routine YOU went through & that is how the world goes round. Leave that alone & let's go back to YOU, after all the hard work, are YOU still living for yourself? YOU are now sharing your life with more members YOU love, but still can't escape the identification "I"...
Are you happy?
Are YOU happy with your life?
How sure are YOU?
How happy is HAPPY???
Some people live for today, some people think for tomorrow, some still live in the past.
It's your choice.
As for me, "I" accept people for the way they are or how they do the things they do ; that's why life in this world is so beautiful... Variations means *NEW.
All our life, we struggle for what WE want. For those who live to fulfill what others want (e.g. parents, lovers, etc), I think I should send my condolences to you, unless you don't know what to do with your life anyway.
We fight, we fall, if we don't fall, how do we climb?, we laugh again & we cry.
Day, ...by day..., as time, passes by.....
What have you see? How much have you grown without realizing? "I" hope you ARE different from who you were before. (Don't get tricked, it's still not about YOU, it's still about "I"; as I hope for YOU so that "I" can be happy~)
We can't let go of our dreams & disappoint anyone; as we only live once...
But do remember of those you love throughout your journey through life; people you lovE, you once loveD, who loveS you... maybe they still do, & even if they don't anymore, you might not know when is the last time you see them, or if they can ever see you again. You might die later, so may "I". Who knows?
"I" know all this sounds corny & repeated many times by anonymousES I don't know in Friendster's Bulletin Board or forwarded email... but May there be a reason for everything that happens? Maybe it is repeated because this is what we tend to forget, & forget; to just stop for a lil' while, take a deep breath, & turn our head back to see how far we've walked.
Have you been "there" before?
I am learning myself. ^^
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
I know
I know
I am love
I was
I have seen all I could
I got all I wanted
I returned not in a whole
I have nothing
I can only stare
by you
with you
in you
from you
to you
for you
at you .
Do you know who are you
?
-You might not be you.
Sunday, March 11, 2007
Blog, Love, Live, Learn, Blog
Blog, Love, Live, Learn, Blog
Ok, what do I want to say. Firstly, when people blog & blog & blog, does anyone REALLY bothers to read them? More of a Glance, I SUPPOSE. There are millions & zillions of blogs around this world & what does a small URL counts to the planet?
Nothing.
Nothing much, really. & still, people BLOG. Like who? Like ME! I'm one of them! I can't believe I am one of them. No, I actually do know I am. But WHY?!
Blogging takes up a LOT of your time everyday!; you sacrifies your sleeping time, got addicted to it after spending SO much time on it, and you just crap, & Crap, & CRAP, on~&~ON~ about what you THINK people want to know about what you FEEL or go through. Well, people are pat gua & 38 but... But... *URGGH!* I still don't see the point of blogging. Is it because I am still finding my ownself & naturally loves blogging or WAS I trying to be part of the blogging community & now, STUCK to it! It's been years now & I still don't know why people like me blogs.
NO ONE might read this. OR those who READS can say "Eh, so confuse don't blog la! What stupid crap is this; say blog no use but sendiri blog" OR you can say "hahaha... No comment." Whatever lah, OK? Say what you want to say.
Alright, I know I am being "man chang" now & need to take a chill pill.
BRB.
OK. Back to business. I still don't know what am I doing here. Have loads of work to do & an essay to write but I just lost the initiative to move. Blogging.
Blogging makes me busy. You can see it on my MSN status; I am ALWAYS busy, Away to cook, come in, Busy again to blog, NO~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Addicted? *=S I once read in TheStar that there are
actually people like that & now I am One of Them! *Runaway~~!!*
Speaking about "Runaway", I WANT TO RUNAWAY! When I am at Malaysia, I had all these unneccessary but can't live without them problems that I always looked forward to runaway to an island which; is where I am now basically. Tasmania. It's an island of island & even owns 1 of the Top 10 beaches on planet. So what?!? I've never been there anyway. It's too far away from My place. It's not about this! What I mean by "runaway" is more of like a... like a..... RUNAWAY vacation? I don't know! One of my favourite phrase is "Take me away with you ANYwhere now! Don't ask me WHY, don't ask me WHERE, JUST TAKE ME, you IDIOT! I don't want to THINK, I don't want to KNOW, I don't want to CARE!" How I wish that phrase can ever so come true. A Tall Prince Charming comes to me with 2 airplane tickets instead of a white horse & a whip & fly me off to Hawaii or Zanzibar or Malibu OR Miami!!! Ops.. I did it again...! That, is call D-R-E-A-M-I-N-G! But it's OK, it's OKAY, I know that day WILL come. I can see it coming... I still have a 50% to go & reach "there"... I'll crawl, slip, fall, whatever just to kiss my Prince under the sunset with only two gracefully swaying coconut tree witnessing us accompanied by the sound of the waves which then turns to Tsunami & drown us together till eternity.
No, I don't really want that, but Hey! That's actually Not A Bad Idea~! =.= Love, love love. I see this holy word every fucking place I go. It doesn't mean anything cause it means too much & the meaning is everywhere in the air but then it means something because it is actually what you think it is & believe, then it becomes true. Bullshit. What is THAT? See? Ask a million people & everyone comes out with a million description of what they think love is. "What you think love is, is lah, why think so much?" one would say. But NO, man, this is not the way I deal with things. I don't believe that I can never discover what it means! I can see it coming... come to sexy mama! =.= I'm getting nuts & it's not even 3 or 4. & I miss my Gobber peanut butter jam!!!!! )=
How do you view your life now?
"I am very happy now, great things are yet to come!" - But I see the sadness & worries in you.
"Like that loh, normal..." - I see how boring & dull yours is; & how you are actually hiding something.
"Life sucks. Many bad things happened to me, I don't know why leh!?" - Pathetic negative minded person in this world.
"I dono" - Is mine.
Don't knoW!!! What is THAT?! OK, lets put it this way. I view it like that: To me, Real life only starts when you are 18; after you finish high school, not at 1, which means I am only 3 years old now. You learn, you live. You love, you live. You live, & live. You learn, it never stops. But the "benchmark" (Quote: Charlie) is 25. At age 25, you find The One, you pak tor for 4 to 5 years, you marry at 29, give birth at 30. Safe zone, nothing over 30. OK, maybe I want 2 children, so let's reverse. Sorry.
Ehem.
Real life only starts when you are 18; after you finish high school, not at 1, which means I am only 3 years old now. You learn, you live. You love, you live. You live, & live. You learn, it never stops. But the "benchmark" (Quote: Charlie) is 23. (Thank God I am a year-end baby!) At age 23, you find The One, you pak tor for 4 to 5 years, you marry at 27, give birth at 28, & a 2nd child at 3o. Safe zone, nothing over 30. OK, that sounds better! I can't believe I actually had plannED my life from BLOGGING!!!!! *AT LEAST NOW I KNOW WHY I BLOG! * -_______________________________- "
From there, you learn more about life, family, & your MAN. I HATE that word. I certainly despise it I should say! M-A-N. Fuck you! Anyway, THAT, is a log way to go. So, from 20-23, what should I do. I certainly can't runaway from love, which means I WILL fall in love, or people MAY fall for me, & I can't follow my "timetable" cause that would be stupid or unfair to myself to everyone AND myself, & I can't be single cause things happens when they want to & should happen; nothing could stop them. Fate. I am then neither single nor attached. What am I?! Instead of loosing myself into statuses, I would proudly declare myself as SINGLE BUT NOT AVAILABLE -SBNA.
But then, you have sayings like these:
"hohoho... what do you mean?"
"single but not available??? hahaha..."
"Oh, you mean you are single but actually taken?"
"Why Single But Not Available?????"
But no one said:
"I think I know what you mean. You want to be alone & single for the moment but it doesn't mean you give up on love." I don't know. I don't know how to see a relationship going from 20 to 23 to 25 till 27 = 7 years. That sounds long, seems hard, feels scary, not impossible, but undeniably _______. No word for that. You choose.
When I ask "the" guy, anyone he might be, who is interested in me & sees what he says, they go:
"I neVer think that far... Why can't we just be happy & live for the moment?" - Fuck your own mother. All you want is sex.
"We are still so young, why do you think so MUCH?" - All you want is a mate to mess with your love life & leave a visible trace only You can see Just because I am one of the pretty chicks.
"Why do you ask me this question leh?" - FoRget it! Go home.
"I didn't see it thAt far loh... I can't afford to give you promises to marry you.. but all I know is if we never try we never know." - Truthful and rational, but no security feeling providED for a Woman.
"I don't know... All I know is I love you & I want to be with you forever. That's all I know." - Alright, this one takes me somewhere yet, no where.
Not bad, guys. I know the jerk phrases, the stupid idiot phrases, the killa' phrases, the living-only-in-the-now phrases,... Good. *Sallute!*
But in the end of the day, can I blame them for what they say? Amongst all of the above, all of them might sound stupid, but they are at least, true, which leaves the last one's ending the most blurr one afterall.
So, since THEY obviously DON'T KNOW what THEY want, & I THINK I know what I want, I think I shall ENJOY my SBNA life cause THIS, is what I WANT. Live & Learn, where is Love? Find me, I won't find You. Once I found you, I Live, I Die, & I WILL Learn again.
Anyone of you can say the followings or other than the followings:
"Ohkay lor... I know what to do dy."
"No comments. You do what you want la."
"Ok.. I respect your decision"
"I won't give up on you. I'll SHOW it to you to make you believe me!" - SHOW your "SHOW" la then~
OR Lastly,
Avoid me.
Guys, men. Fine, go away, go away. I don't need a man to live. I am happy, I am alive, I am young, I am free. Friends can be find, & so can lovers. But parents can't be; & if they already give me everything I want, why should I search for a man to give me the same thing I have? Show me something I can't have from them, show me what is happiness; fruits beared from male-female love, show me what a gentleman you are, show me security; in love & finance, show me a REAL MAN showering me
TRUE love & TRUST
Be LOYAL & be HONEST.
Be FINANCIALLY stable; you doN'T neccessary have to be rich to buy my clothes. I'll even buy yours for you.
Make me LAUGH, make me HAPPY, without you looking SILLY
Make me feel SAFE & SECURE without feeling BORING & DULL
DoN'T raise your voice to me; LEARN & LOVE me for who I AM, NOT for how I look or dress or my gestures.
Don't EVER try to fight fate or look at this as a GAME. - No one wins or loose in REAL love, ONLY when you view it as a GAME, there is the Winner & the Blame, the Looser self-pitying him/herself & then fall in love with depression &/or alcohol.
Loving me IS hard, I NEVER dare say it's simple. I wouldn't go into what I can give in return, but I dare say who loves me as much, will be given mOrE.
Those who surrenders their white flags now can LEAVE. Goodbye.
Those who confidently raises their red flags can Start.
Those who can wait, wait.
Those who can't, I have no lost. So do you.
Never take advantage of your love ones. Love should be equal & never to be forced.
-P.E.A.C.E-
Ok, what do I want to say. Firstly, when people blog & blog & blog, does anyone REALLY bothers to read them? More of a Glance, I SUPPOSE. There are millions & zillions of blogs around this world & what does a small URL counts to the planet?
Nothing.
Nothing much, really. & still, people BLOG. Like who? Like ME! I'm one of them! I can't believe I am one of them. No, I actually do know I am. But WHY?!
Blogging takes up a LOT of your time everyday!; you sacrifies your sleeping time, got addicted to it after spending SO much time on it, and you just crap, & Crap, & CRAP, on~&~ON~ about what you THINK people want to know about what you FEEL or go through. Well, people are pat gua & 38 but... But... *URGGH!* I still don't see the point of blogging. Is it because I am still finding my ownself & naturally loves blogging or WAS I trying to be part of the blogging community & now, STUCK to it! It's been years now & I still don't know why people like me blogs.
NO ONE might read this. OR those who READS can say "Eh, so confuse don't blog la! What stupid crap is this; say blog no use but sendiri blog" OR you can say "hahaha... No comment." Whatever lah, OK? Say what you want to say.
Alright, I know I am being "man chang" now & need to take a chill pill.
BRB.
OK. Back to business. I still don't know what am I doing here. Have loads of work to do & an essay to write but I just lost the initiative to move. Blogging.
Blogging makes me busy. You can see it on my MSN status; I am ALWAYS busy, Away to cook, come in, Busy again to blog, NO~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Addicted? *=S I once read in TheStar that there are
actually people like that & now I am One of Them! *Runaway~~!!*
Speaking about "Runaway", I WANT TO RUNAWAY! When I am at Malaysia, I had all these unneccessary but can't live without them problems that I always looked forward to runaway to an island which; is where I am now basically. Tasmania. It's an island of island & even owns 1 of the Top 10 beaches on planet. So what?!? I've never been there anyway. It's too far away from My place. It's not about this! What I mean by "runaway" is more of like a... like a..... RUNAWAY vacation? I don't know! One of my favourite phrase is "Take me away with you ANYwhere now! Don't ask me WHY, don't ask me WHERE, JUST TAKE ME, you IDIOT! I don't want to THINK, I don't want to KNOW, I don't want to CARE!" How I wish that phrase can ever so come true. A Tall Prince Charming comes to me with 2 airplane tickets instead of a white horse & a whip & fly me off to Hawaii or Zanzibar or Malibu OR Miami!!! Ops.. I did it again...! That, is call D-R-E-A-M-I-N-G! But it's OK, it's OKAY, I know that day WILL come. I can see it coming... I still have a 50% to go & reach "there"... I'll crawl, slip, fall, whatever just to kiss my Prince under the sunset with only two gracefully swaying coconut tree witnessing us accompanied by the sound of the waves which then turns to Tsunami & drown us together till eternity.
No, I don't really want that, but Hey! That's actually Not A Bad Idea~! =.= Love, love love. I see this holy word every fucking place I go. It doesn't mean anything cause it means too much & the meaning is everywhere in the air but then it means something because it is actually what you think it is & believe, then it becomes true. Bullshit. What is THAT? See? Ask a million people & everyone comes out with a million description of what they think love is. "What you think love is, is lah, why think so much?" one would say. But NO, man, this is not the way I deal with things. I don't believe that I can never discover what it means! I can see it coming... come to sexy mama! =.= I'm getting nuts & it's not even 3 or 4. & I miss my Gobber peanut butter jam!!!!! )=
How do you view your life now?
"I am very happy now, great things are yet to come!" - But I see the sadness & worries in you.
"Like that loh, normal..." - I see how boring & dull yours is; & how you are actually hiding something.
"Life sucks. Many bad things happened to me, I don't know why leh!?" - Pathetic negative minded person in this world.
"I dono" - Is mine.
Don't knoW!!! What is THAT?! OK, lets put it this way. I view it like that: To me, Real life only starts when you are 18; after you finish high school, not at 1, which means I am only 3 years old now. You learn, you live. You love, you live. You live, & live. You learn, it never stops. But the "benchmark" (Quote: Charlie) is 25. At age 25, you find The One, you pak tor for 4 to 5 years, you marry at 29, give birth at 30. Safe zone, nothing over 30. OK, maybe I want 2 children, so let's reverse. Sorry.
Ehem.
Real life only starts when you are 18; after you finish high school, not at 1, which means I am only 3 years old now. You learn, you live. You love, you live. You live, & live. You learn, it never stops. But the "benchmark" (Quote: Charlie) is 23. (Thank God I am a year-end baby!) At age 23, you find The One, you pak tor for 4 to 5 years, you marry at 27, give birth at 28, & a 2nd child at 3o. Safe zone, nothing over 30. OK, that sounds better! I can't believe I actually had plannED my life from BLOGGING!!!!! *AT LEAST NOW I KNOW WHY I BLOG! * -_______________________________- "
From there, you learn more about life, family, & your MAN. I HATE that word. I certainly despise it I should say! M-A-N. Fuck you! Anyway, THAT, is a log way to go. So, from 20-23, what should I do. I certainly can't runaway from love, which means I WILL fall in love, or people MAY fall for me, & I can't follow my "timetable" cause that would be stupid or unfair to myself to everyone AND myself, & I can't be single cause things happens when they want to & should happen; nothing could stop them. Fate. I am then neither single nor attached. What am I?! Instead of loosing myself into statuses, I would proudly declare myself as SINGLE BUT NOT AVAILABLE -SBNA.
But then, you have sayings like these:
"hohoho... what do you mean?"
"single but not available??? hahaha..."
"Oh, you mean you are single but actually taken?"
"Why Single But Not Available?????"
But no one said:
"I think I know what you mean. You want to be alone & single for the moment but it doesn't mean you give up on love." I don't know. I don't know how to see a relationship going from 20 to 23 to 25 till 27 = 7 years. That sounds long, seems hard, feels scary, not impossible, but undeniably _______. No word for that. You choose.
When I ask "the" guy, anyone he might be, who is interested in me & sees what he says, they go:
"I neVer think that far... Why can't we just be happy & live for the moment?" - Fuck your own mother. All you want is sex.
"We are still so young, why do you think so MUCH?" - All you want is a mate to mess with your love life & leave a visible trace only You can see Just because I am one of the pretty chicks.
"Why do you ask me this question leh?" - FoRget it! Go home.
"I didn't see it thAt far loh... I can't afford to give you promises to marry you.. but all I know is if we never try we never know." - Truthful and rational, but no security feeling providED for a Woman.
"I don't know... All I know is I love you & I want to be with you forever. That's all I know." - Alright, this one takes me somewhere yet, no where.
Not bad, guys. I know the jerk phrases, the stupid idiot phrases, the killa' phrases, the living-only-in-the-now phrases,... Good. *Sallute!*
But in the end of the day, can I blame them for what they say? Amongst all of the above, all of them might sound stupid, but they are at least, true, which leaves the last one's ending the most blurr one afterall.
So, since THEY obviously DON'T KNOW what THEY want, & I THINK I know what I want, I think I shall ENJOY my SBNA life cause THIS, is what I WANT. Live & Learn, where is Love? Find me, I won't find You. Once I found you, I Live, I Die, & I WILL Learn again.
Anyone of you can say the followings or other than the followings:
"Ohkay lor... I know what to do dy."
"No comments. You do what you want la."
"Ok.. I respect your decision"
"I won't give up on you. I'll SHOW it to you to make you believe me!" - SHOW your "SHOW" la then~
OR Lastly,
Avoid me.
Guys, men. Fine, go away, go away. I don't need a man to live. I am happy, I am alive, I am young, I am free. Friends can be find, & so can lovers. But parents can't be; & if they already give me everything I want, why should I search for a man to give me the same thing I have? Show me something I can't have from them, show me what is happiness; fruits beared from male-female love, show me what a gentleman you are, show me security; in love & finance, show me a REAL MAN showering me
TRUE love & TRUST
Be LOYAL & be HONEST.
Be FINANCIALLY stable; you doN'T neccessary have to be rich to buy my clothes. I'll even buy yours for you.
Make me LAUGH, make me HAPPY, without you looking SILLY
Make me feel SAFE & SECURE without feeling BORING & DULL
DoN'T raise your voice to me; LEARN & LOVE me for who I AM, NOT for how I look or dress or my gestures.
Don't EVER try to fight fate or look at this as a GAME. - No one wins or loose in REAL love, ONLY when you view it as a GAME, there is the Winner & the Blame, the Looser self-pitying him/herself & then fall in love with depression &/or alcohol.
Loving me IS hard, I NEVER dare say it's simple. I wouldn't go into what I can give in return, but I dare say who loves me as much, will be given mOrE.
Those who surrenders their white flags now can LEAVE. Goodbye.
Those who confidently raises their red flags can Start.
Those who can wait, wait.
Those who can't, I have no lost. So do you.
Never take advantage of your love ones. Love should be equal & never to be forced.
-P.E.A.C.E-
Another Different Story of A PINK Lover.
Another Different Story of A PINK Lover.
The days have been long. I counted my fingers from right to left, and then left to right, lost it, & recount.
The image is clear; I've been waiting for so long to see & hold the lil' one in my chest, knowing it's mine.
We both thought it'll take a week plus, taking in mind that people at Tas moves kinda slow & that it's in an island but it actually only takes a few days. Looks like the same thing but paid & not paid extra gives a big difference after all.
It was quite a fun class that day; 8th of March 2007. (Her birthday) The whole class went to City Park to a community radio station & my eyes almost blurged out to see SO MANY wonderful AWESOME collections of radios from 1970's!!! I wanted so badly to take pictures of them to put in PINK LABEL, but I don't think that's a good idea in CLASS. Well, it's still A class. Richard, the old man who works there bringing visitors on tour way~back to the radio world from the 70's & back to the iPod world now. He is a old but "happening"~ He knows the latest technologies out there of transistors & stuff, which is pretty cool~!
After class, I waited for Charles to go home pack his luggage before he return to Hobart to see his girlfriend while munching on my small chocolate teddies & chillin' out with my juniors as they play "tennis" with a small marble-like yellow rubber ball. Apparently, my teddies weren't enough to keep me full so I went to Bizy Bee to get myself a big, FAT, short sausage & mashed potato beef AND, I got stalked by the Mazda guy again! I gave some lame excuses & left for Uni. After the discussion with Charles, I went to K-Mart with my SuperMan! (Aaron) & Salad! (Alard); the PINK hair guy. lol~ They are Virgos & share the same birth date together. hahaha! They are reaLLy kind to take me there & help me carry stuffs or I'll have to take that long, long, LONG journey again with bundles-of-Not-joy-but-groceries. I got down the car around 5 something, I guess and.....
"Cindy, your thing is here."
"OH~? Really? Where? Where! WHERE?!!!"
"Deh~ I put there dy."
"You mean my CAMERA???!"
"Ya lo"
"Where you put?!"
"In your room there. They just throw it there outside the floor & so I quickly take it in for you."
"Ok oK OK!!! YAY!!!!! Thanks, ya! yay yay yay~~~" (=
"So Cindy"
Quote: Eri. (I suppose)
*lol*
I alwayZ love parcels since I was young. Maybe it's because I used to get them annually or more often than that from my KL aunts who generously sends teddy bears, cosmetics for mum, same cute pyjamas for me & mum, enormous quantity of Enid Blyton story books or Bedtime Stories; those which has 365 stories 1 a day, & many more. I just love them. (To those who grows up reading Enid Blyton:) Remember The Faraway Tree where Moonface, Silky the fairy, Jo, Fanny, Dick & the others who embark on the adventure up the tree to another world above the clouds?
I should no doubtingly say with absolute no shame at all that I would still love to read or flip through those wonderfully illustrated pictures again! I miss them a lot and till now, (the following is a fact that people know but doesn't see it as an advantage in Me) I still & love living in my own childhood fantasy wOrld where unlimitied imaginations, magnificent images, pictures, & 4Ds visuals crawl and creep wildly; leaving their thin vein like strands on every brain cells I have in my head, giving me another world where I live in whenever I am alone, & alone.
I know there is a part of me that gives people a feeling that I am like a child, a girl instead of a woman or lady, "little girL", "still a little kid", "你还是小孩子啦你", or "永远长不大" which leads to the SAME DAMN OLD Conversation AGAIN.
"你小孩子啦你~"
"小孩子有什么不好呢？！"
"我没有说不好啊~！"
"那你又说什么 小孩子 小孩子 的？"
"可是我就是喜欢你这样啊。 "
"不懂真假的。。。"
"真的啦。。。"
"骗人。"
"永远就是这样
像小孩子
永远长不大
我看你阿，你不担心自己我都担心你啊！
你要会照顾自己懂吗？懂吗？！"
"懂。"
"我会的啦！"
"他们很当心我。。。"
"是啦，你像小孩子这样
不要说他们；我都你担心啦~"
"你又来了！"
"没有啦。。。哎哟~"
Well, sad, but true. 小孩子 is what hanging there on their damn mouth.
I love to dance, I love to jump, I love to scream & shout, I love to laugh out loud.
I dance, I jump, I scream & I shout, & I do laugh out LOUD.
I sulk when I don't get what I want, 小孩子 they say,
but in the end, I GOT what I WANT.
hmph? Advantage? Questions you wanna ask me?
I love pink, I love toys, I love girlie & kiddie stuffs,
I buy them, my room filled & full of them,
But I know what I am DOING rather than just KNOWING what I like,
Am I silly?
hmph? Do you actually think about it? No. You only know how to JUDGE.
Need me say more?
I tell to your face what I love.
I repeat I love PINK.
I SHOW you I tYpE LiKe tHiS,
I CAPS LOCK my "PINK",
I use annoying words like <@\/\/@!! n3H~~,
I pout & pose,
I cam whore myself,
I show to the wOrld how PINK my room is ANYWHERE I go,
I throw kisses & hugs everywhere,
What is your view towards a female like me?
Keep in mind, I am TELLING you THIS, I AM. So, BEFORE judging anything, & before you see this, I TELL you in handy, my new camera IS, P.I.N.K.
& why acknowledging the child in you is an advantage?
I am creative & original,
I want to write books for children,
I love Nanny Mc Phee,
& I love myself for being myself.
So DON'T bring me down, ALL of YOU!
( & YOU is for PLURAL, dumb asses! You go to an assembly and the headmaster says "YOU must do this". Do you think he is saying ONLY you or YOU"S"?)
*Sick of chatting at MSN or just anywhere using the word Y-O-U & people asking me "Why do you say me like that? I didn't oso ..." Hello, Y-O-U is for general, OKAY?!* =.="
Back to the original story, I threw my plastic bags on the floor at the "Desperate Hall" & rushed to my room. I see her lying there on my bed, & I screamed like crazy. "She is HERE!? SHE IS HERE!" (:
"She" is my new Pink Rose Sony DSC T-10 Cyber Shot Camera! Well, I know there are many new models coming out, but I just LUURRVVEE this particular PINK too MUCH & I JUST-HAVE-TO-HAVE-IT-BE-M.I.N.E!!!!!
& here she comes, with a hiDDen letter From someone very ..... far
& to my greatEST surprise, which I ALMOST love more than the camera, I found lil' treasury raisin boxes inside! AwWw~~ That's just being sO sweet~! I LOVE Raisins. I actually finish the whole bucket packing of Sun Maid Raisins in 1 day..... eh heh heh... heh. *=S
Which; leads to "OPENED FOR INSPECTION" by the custom people!!! *URRGGH* Opened it BeFoRe ME!
- ...indicated that there may have been an item of quarantine concern in your mail.
WTH~ No manners laa... It's just raisins, dude~ Sau pei laA! =.=
In the end also passED laa... buat malu jerrK! *FuSS maKeR*
The 4OUR Views of my *NEW* Camera which travels all the way to Aussie from the States...
The iPod He gave me for my previous birthday present from USA... It's *PINK~* tOO!
My previous Previous birthday present from States... 99 roses of my fav colour S S S S!
*(@o@)*
Them, after being TradeMarked as PINK "iPod lOvE" & PINK "Sony lOvE"....
The precious things I own... Finally, all with their PINKlOvE TradeMarks ON, except for my lappy which; is not in the picture, & my PINK metalic Atos back at home... I miss my c..a..r.. )=*
But they are all gadjets...
Where is that one thing that's mine I don't own & can't TradeMark...
yet?
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