Friday, January 2, 2009

Poor Gravy

Today I've been told to take down the Christmas tree. Somehow I felt a sense of emptiness residing inside me. Does that mean it's the end of this classical season? Chinese New Year songs sound so gay. They annoy the shit out of me.

I feel a gap between me and my heart starting to exist. A thread connecting my heart to the tree thinning, like a strand of brittle hair you can hardly see. 2008 had been a very long dreamy journey for me. I slept. Now I open my eyes and its 2009. I could very very hardly believe this is true. What are my resolutions? I had them lined up, but now they're gone because I didn't write them down before the fireworks cracked the last piece of old dark sky. One minute you feel so bersemangat, one minute your energy has drained completely. Was it me, or do you feel static too?

I've nothing to complain, but work is getting sickly boring. I need to get up on my feet. Studying is easier than working, but after obtaining one degree, planning to get another feels so obvious that your first one didn't make you any wiser and that you're running away from the harsh materialistic reality. Traveling is fun, but it makes you "homeless" after a while. You lost yourself, your identity, your name. People forget names, but there are many ways for one's name to be forgotten. How would you want yours to be.

I'm now dragging my feet to "destroy" the Christmas tree... "It has to be taken down by TODAY," she said.