That fortnight.
Yesterday.
Today.
I subconsciously stop and stare at one specific spot, and my vision penetrates like 528 km/h into infinity making a puncture through whatever atom, molecule, or substance it is, and I feel my existence disappearing from this lunatic world. I can feel the tension at the back of my eyeballs; the fine gracile muscles twitching anxiously.
It’s quite painful, but my eyes won’t blink. They just stare. No tears. No cries. Nothing. But if this world can just slow down and be tardy for a bit, I bet you can hear the fey, whimsical sound of my corneas cracking.
I stare at a bottle of allergy pills which causes extreme ultimate drowsiness; wishing I have the guts to swallow em’ all, and just go to sleep… rather than starring down this ugly ugly spot from the 16th Floor, but I can’t do it. I can’t.
Courage. I am never brave enough to do everything that I knew I am capable of doing when I’m alone. I love to be guided, taught, loved and told of what not to do.
I’m exhausted. Not because of my new work, but my old life. You can never erase that. "Why are you here?” they asked. Yes. Exactly. Why am I here? The more I look into the question-ers, and myself, the MORE I couldn’t understand. Have they ever wondered why THEY are here too? And why are they dealing with all these so hard, unless the pay is fucking high! We are sick people I tell you, because most likely, you are too.
My getaways… to Redang, to Chatuchak, to H.K, to hell lah. I am still here. & what have I done about it? Nothing. And what do I need? That. So???
CINDY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm now actually in the studio waiting for Chef Wan to see his interview with DJ JD and Xandra Ooi. Time check? : 10.37 PM, and chef is 22 minutes late... Thank god I have nice music to listen to, and a breath-taking night city view from the 19th floor... telling me life's too beautiful to let go.....
ON-AIR
Xandra Ooi | Chef Wan | DJ JD
with Chef Wan standing on a chair with 4 wheels !!!!
This is why I love my job. (((:
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