Friday, September 14, 2007

My *NEW* Interest : Being Gossiped !

latterly i discovered a new interest for myself - the love of being gossiped .
i occasionally see this ludicrous word at some chio bu-s profile under the "interests" section and i just couldn't get it . who the hell in this world loves to be gossiped and bitched about ? but now i know . as long as you are human , there will be gossips . believe it or not , even you have your own flying behind your back .

for instance , there are people in this world who just hate fat people . like skinny girls who have trouble with fat girls dressing up . i used to join this kinda conversation just to fit in the group , but to come think about it , fat girls are girls too . what is wrong with trying their best to look pretty as well ? at least they put in an effort to be more presentable or noticeable , instead of wearing XXL t-shirts (when their actual size is L) with the hope to look slimmer cause that just won't do !

so is it the sight of a fat girl wearing jeans a smaller size than their actual one that's annoying , OR the jealousy of their funky jackets and accessories that ironically surface at places you wish they wouldn't which irritates you ?

if even fat girls are something to be jealous of , i guess would have a thousand multiplying around me . i do always think i am beautiful , you know ? i look at myself in the mirror every now and then or wherever there is one , make 5 different poses in 5 seconds , flaunt my body and that signature smile i practiced ; i love myself so much i could die ; but if i am a girl who is not me , i dare say i will hate myself for no reasons .

i am not very beautiful . i may carry myself as one , or present myself as so , but i'm actually a horrible tomboy in disguise . i eat like a glutton , my manicure can't stay for more than a day , i walk like a duck whenever i wear heels , i say lanjiao , i act like a freak at public , anything , i don't care . i just don't act girly ; NEVER ! not even for a day or on a date . besides , i use sarcasm to derisory people who admire their own flaws .

the case is : wherever i go , there is always something about me that people are jealous of . i'm serious , not perasan . i couldn't find one particular trait of me to be jealous instead of admire at , so i guess it comes with the whole package ; including my daringness to be tomboyish ?

i've been gossiped all-my-life from age 12 to 21 and i guess its time to learn love it instead of accepting . i always remember a saying a friend once told me ; No Flame No Fame .

i've never been gossiped SO MUCH throughout my life and it happens now , here at Tasmania . it spreads from the third year architecture students to who knows where , from small town Launceston to the 3 hours drive Hobart city . there it goes , there it goes .

one of the most ridiculous one i heard is about me being called a slut by the 3RD year architecture students . and the reason being ? : a Singaporean girl called Vicky stayed with this white named Chris . Chris was my classmate from Romance & Realism class . we hung out together thrice ; he cooked dinner for BOTH of us twice , and the third time we asked Vicky to join us to the City Park for a walk but she refused , so that left just the two of us .

Chris had a Johor-ian g/f whom he just broke up with then and i guess just because i am also from Johor , he confessed to me . i rejected him , he got sick , asked me to go cook lunch for him , i went because he helped me with my mid - term essay , he got desperate , he wanted to hug me , i rejected him , that was the story !

a while later , i heard rumors about Vicky whining about Chris wanting to commit suicide because i hurt him and that she had to move out because of my doings and that's why i am a slut . WHAT THE FUCK ?! what the hell did i do ? i have a choice to reject who i don't like lah ! if i am a slut i would have fucked Chris , gave him empty promises , and then left him . but what i did was to reject him before anything got worse instead . isn't that what's right to do ?

then we have this Ryan guy helping Vicky spread the so called TRUE news that i AM a slut . now i think 99% of the Chinese idiots from the 3RD year hates me for no reason . you know what , you TWO suck BIG TIME !

my story is my life , what has it to do with you ??? it's not like i spread news like i know your mother and she slept with my neighbour's cow or that i saw you masturbating with your grandma's vibrator ~ !

the news that i was to be the host for MSA night had became a big deal as well . "you know ah , CINDY is the host for MSA Night leh ~ yerrr !"

what the fuck ?! yer yerr ~ Ah Yer you kenal ah ? see their cibai henngg also damn kao tulan .

i was waiting for the bus one day with Kin Wai and guess who we bumped into ? - Ryan and friends . IMMEDIATELY i got that LOOK . cibai henngg right ?! apparently , they have been telling Kin about me and now that he hangs out with muah , they felt betrayed in a sense i guess .

also , if you remember the Singaporean auntie who created havoc on my blog 2 or 3 months ago , that would be another evidence as well . i don't know what the hell i did that disturbs her , but she just hates me . asked her friends to leave bad irrelevant comments on my entry(s) but one of them then becomes a frequent reader of my blog now and even linked me . =.="

say it's not jealousy ? but what if i am just a plain ugly girl who doesn't dress up . how much percentage of gossips will i have reduced ? listen . there are MORE people who are doing more than i do , but its just that no one cares at all .

i don't think i am THAT beautiful , really . but if this has to go on , i'll just have to believe there's something about me that is . thanks for the extra confidence income . its really a HUGE bonus . and do gossip more about me ; i am genuinely beginning to love the fame . q=