The Forfeited Cavalier

if you see any pink gadgets with me, it's all from him. he knows my favorite color, i think. but actually he doesn't. it's just as simple as knowing my favorite color. but he never understood. not till today.

as much as i love pink, it doesn't mean i wanted my iPod to be pink. i wanted my camera to be pink because it is metallic. i actually want my pod to be translucently white, or black and sleek, instead of dark pink and shiny. he never has a sense of fashion. he gets flu whenever i shopped for more than twenty minutes in forever21. he becomes a glutton when it comes to food and feeds me with buffets for three months annually, then leave me with nothing but a bank of inutile memories and only myself to be blamed.

as much as i thought i love pink, i learnt as well how much i love, loved, love, and hate, this person called him. he is pink. and i love pink. i never hated the color pink. i only hate it on my iPod.

...
Hello ?

Hello ??

Hello...?
Hey... it's me, Celest.

Hello ???
Oh... yes...?
So... erm... Where are you now ? (:

...

Celest : That was how I dreamt it happened. But it felt so true! I swear!
Ashley: Yes, I know. But it's only a dream. What can you do about it?
Celest : Call him!
Ashley: Call him then!
Celest : I can't.
Ashley: Why not?
Celest : I can't.
Ashley: You... sigh~
Celest : I don't have his number. & he's gone. He's gone, Ash.

it's night time and my fire's burning. i am on fire. i can blow flames and vomit out a bowl of blood. all of a sudden out of nowhere i miss his kisses. he is never a good kisser, definitely not the greatest, but it's HIS lips mine recognize most, it's his touch my skin feels most comfortable with. i kissed a hundred princes but i can't seem to get away from this frog. in his roomy arms, there's no where better i would want to be...

Ashley: Who exactly do you see on the day you marry? Imagine it.
Celest :
Ashley: ?
Celest : Him ...?
Ashley: REALLY ?!?!?!
Celest : ... Ya... ?
Ashley: HIM ?
Celest : Yes. Him .

if i must imagine myself standing in a church on a bright sunday morning in the most enchanting and bewitching wedding gown with a silk veil over my face, and you ask me who is the first person that came to my mind, i would say definitely not Jesus. i'm just joking. duh~ you know who.

he who called me dear. he who muakzed me the most. he who never care anymore because he daren't. he whom i call a chicken. a useless chicken. a man who almost flew over from west to east to see me. a man who couldn't because he wasn't sure where he'd rather be. an ex boyfriend whom i hated but love. an ex who never understands. a boy who isn't mine anymore. a friend who is no more a friend because he found another - in a week or two!

i can love and not have you if you can love and not have me. we did have a chance to cherish each other, but you were too blind and athirst to see. calling someone a boyfriend or girlfriend without possessing their heart is nothing, but owning one's heart without the name is still, a lot of things made into one.

i'm awake. if this excerpt happened to stir you, let's hug. (: