Tuesday, January 16, 2007

If I Will Die Tomorrow... (7 Oct 2005)

If I Will Die Tomorrow...

If I only have 24 hours left...
this would be my "Mona Lisa",
no one can re"draw" this in its own meaning;
nothing duplicated is the same with the original,
nothing is eternal,
but what I am trying to say now won't change forever,
this, is all what's left of me for everyone I know.

If I only have 1 day...
I do not have enough time to do what I want, wish, & hope,
I can not repay back everybody deeds,
I will not regret what I'd done and said,
but I shall not give up doing the least I can do till the end,
which is to tell you this now…

Mummy...
What can I say...? You are the one who love me MOST & whom I love MOST. I always tell people that you are the only one who can give me your heart if I ever need yours. Now that I can rarely go home, I miss you. I miss your dishes, your pretty, neat, & nice things that you sewn for our house. I miss talking to you & telling you my stories & lessons I learnt in life. I have to admit that I kept secrets, but I really wish I could share them with you. I hate hiding things from you because I want to treat you as my best friend. Mum, time goes so fast and is so short. We "realized" that but do nothing. Let me share with you a small, dark secret of me when I was young. After you gave birth to Eugene, I began to wonder if I was adopted because you seemed to love him more! HAHA! How stupid I was! Well, when I am in high school, I never really appreciate the time I can have with you at home. You forced me to study like hell, and thought I hate you for that. But mum, I NEVER. I explained many, many, many times before but you can never believe. How sad it was that I was too afraid to show how I love you. I wonder why we can’t go back 10 or more years before so we can still share hugs and kisses. Maybe I will regret this at the last second of my life. Mum, thanks for all your love, care, & time you wasted in life on bringing me up. Hopefully I can repay you back next life... I pray you stay healthy, happy, & pretty forever!!! I love you. (100%)

Daddy...
Hey dad! How I wish I can ever call you like that this way. Dy, hmmm..... WoW~ this is a tuff one! I wonder why it's hard for us to communicate, even if I were to die tomorrow. Well, I know you love me. Daddy, I mean I REALLY know!!! You always think I don't, I suppose. Actually, I understand that you are a VERY supportive & understanding father. You support my decisions & stuff when I wanted to study this course, even when mum is unhappy about it. I am touched and glad to have a father like you! Proud as well! Thanks a lot for caring about me all the time; when I'm sick, "sui~", etc. Haha! You are always there to help me financially & morally. Too bad we don't have enough time to know and to talk to each other more. I wish to share your troubles and stories with you, but perhaps next lifetime then. I also wish that we can go back 17 years back so that I can wait with mummy for you to come back from work and we play together. We lost it all when I enter kinder garden, & I don't know how. I wouldn't know how to repay you back, either financially or morally, but I really appreciate that I have a dad like you. I pray you stay healthy, happy, & rich all the time. I love you. (98%)

Eugene!!!
Ah U, Ah Gene, Ba Chim! WAHAHA! My good ol' bro. You... you... you... Wanna hit you! LoL! Just joking! You are my BEST FRIEND, man~! Glad to have such a good old sis-young bro relationship with you. Many people envy us, (remember "Old Queen" & "Number 5"? kekeke~) we should be proud of that, shouldn't we? Did you remember how silly we used to be at old house? I think you do, you genius! No, you are not a nerd, don't worry. I miss our old house... wanna play "Morning Raining", "Hey~", "Toy Shop", "leaking pool", "Nursery Rhyme KaraOK", "Power Rangers", & "Barney & Friends" again? WAHAHA! I wonder where’re all our soft toys, did mum give them all to the old stinky "Datin"? Hey dude, remember at a stage we kept on quarrelling even when mum just go out for an hour? We kept on calling "ama" & complain! Poor old lady... I know you love her! Hahaha! Jk~ Hmm... Thanks for being a place where I can say 99.9% of anything without fear; stories + memories of "C", "Insang", "Kite", etc. I had a great time with ya every time I'm home. Hope we can spend more time & laughter together, dude! You CAN really make me laugh & be my real, true self. Thanks for being such a good bro. I pray you stay healthy happy, have good grades, success in life! Find a GOOD wife! I love you. (97%)

Kok Hao...
Song Kok Hao... Wow, where should I start? There's too much going on here~ Oh no~ Oh no~ haha! Joking "lah"~ you know, you are the BEST guy I'd ever met in my life! I know u still can't believe that! Aha, I saw your face! See? You don't believe me! Anyway, dear Gill / Ah Gill / Kino / Mirmo / Hao Hao / Xi Fu / Guo Hao (wah, so many nicks!) I can't say I don't love you! You make me do! LoL~ All that we shared, no matter what happens in future, I will remember. They are TOO precious to forget! I appreciate you & I am glad to once have you in my life. I can never forget the beach trip, hospital "trip", fell at Midvalley's Jusco, etc. I wrote something for you before in my blog, that's for you. Or I'll have to write an essay here just for you! Thanks for treating me SO good... I know I am crazy & nuts + irrational & unexplainable sometimes, I hurt you, I ignore you, I make you worry, but... I do love you. Believe? Haha.. Let you guess then. I love you. (95%)

Yong Xien...
Yong Xien, Yong Xien, Yong Xien... If I were to die tomorrow, what would you say to me? I wonder if you'll care or bother. You know, I really wish we can continue our story, or at LEAST had an end to it. Now it's hanging like a broken string, I didn't know how to fix it. Maybe that's why we have such a special friendship till today. You know... thanks for giving me such a wonderful "dream" in the train during our journey back. Now I know why train is such a beautiful thing compared to busses or cars. I can never ever forget those days you came to find me... I mean thanks. You make me feel things that NO one can make me feel. How irony… Oh my God... I don't know what I am saying now... It's so hard to find words for you when it gets serious! You Mighty GOD Xienimusha!!! HaHa! Hey, remember if you really became God 1 day, I'll be your 1st follower! LoL~ I actually wrote the monologue about you, when I told you bout my presentation, which is actually my previous blog. Hope you don't mind... Sorry. Well, everything that I have to say is there so I won't have any regrets even if I couldn't see you again in my life. Sam, you are really a "dream" to me. I told you that you are really my "Tidus". You enter and exit my life as a dream, & I had to keep searching for you, just as what "Yuna" did. But the ending really depends on how we "play" it, or maybe fate. Whatever happens, I pray that you can really go to Japan (don't forget the hot chicks!), be successful in what you want to be, found your real Yuna, and stay happy! "Hao lian" boost confidence!! HaHa! I love you. (94.5%)

Evelyn; Ley Eng...
"Li Ing"... Oh my dear, Evelyn... I am really worry about you and your future. You are my BEST girl friend at Labis! I can share everything with you as well, but we never had ENOUGH time, have we? No. Too bad~ No matter what, we are still friends forever, right? You know I am willing to share EVERYTHING! *;D Be careful with people & making decisions! I love you. (88%)

Audrey...
Hey Audrey! Tan Bee Leng! Stop laughing at me, OK? Everyday want to "cekik" me! *=..( HaHa! JK JK! You ar... You... YOU... YOU!!! You are really a good roommate. LOL! Thanks for being a friend whom I can share almost everything too! It's incredible how almost the same we are actually. Now I know scorpios & crabs can be good friend. (maybe because they are shelly) "Pai seh" I always tell you bout my problems and stories which had no sollutions involving guys, love, family, self-awareness, etc. Making you even more blurr and confused. Plus, you can't concentrate on doing your account stuff or even reply a message. If I have to say something to you; please DON'T think so much & TRY to be happy. Don't stress yourself, you are so young & there are lots of nice stuff out there you don't even know. It really kinda upset me to see you "running away" by sleeping. You can't even eat happily, study happily, or sweep the floor & empty da' dust bin! Haih~ No one can change you unless you. Remember, there are many types of love in the world but don't give up loving someone who is worth it. We need not find love, but it'll come naturally. Lastly, I pray that you are HAPPY with your life, stay HEALTHY (EAT VEGETABLES & FRUITS!!!), found someone who LOVE you & whom you LOVE, &... best regards to your family! I love you. (85%)

Sheau Torng, Sze Yin + Yen Ling, Peik Shang, Chiew May, & all my cousins + relatives... (mum's side)
Hey gals! How's life? Well, it's been a long time we didn't hang out together! Miss da' times when we were girls playing hide & seek, Mc D "masak masak", playing at Batu Buruk, to talking the whole night till 8a.m once & get scolded I get scolded "Ki Siao Poh!" Hahaha! Kuma Torng / ama Torng / Michael Torng / Sotong / "ma tong" *=S Ok Ok, don't wanna bully you! I miss you!!! I had 5 novels of stories to share with you! IF only we had time... Ah Yin, LoL! Find you at Sats to have dinner together. The way we communicate changed with time but you still a very good cousin! Thanks for being so helpful to me all the time. You are SPECIAL, girl! Peik Shang & Chiew May... I rarely have the chance to even see you guys now. But I'm really glad to have you guys as my cousins! Tan Kim Yeow! Haha! Never thought I would type out your name, for God's sake! But if I were to die tomorrow, I really have to empty my heart! I HAVE A CRUSH ON YOU FOR 9 YEARS!!! What a damn fool I am! Thinking back now, I would really like to laugh at myself. Well, at least I dare say this now! LoL~ Sshhh... Frankly, when you called me as I was lying on the hospital bed the other day, I was kinda happy, man! Wahaha! Anyway, cut the crap. My dear, dear cousinSSS, old to baby ones... You guys are SO beautiful and we make a magnificent family! I am so proud to be part of it & to be your cousin as well. I pray you guys can live a happy life and gain success in whatever you do! I love you guys!!! (20-89%)

Nic; Boon Seng, Gan; Ah Hong, Ah Syh, Patrick; Chen Hui, Chok Yi, Teck Hui, Kang Wee, & Leong; Ah "Liang" + Joey...
HellO my BEST friendsSSss!!! I MISS YOU ALL VERY VERY MUCH X100!!! When can we be in the same class again in our lifetime! I don't want to miss ANY of you! From 4 Sc to 5 Sc, same class, same people, same teachers. OMG~ I miss those days I can play & laugh bout anything in the world with you guys in class; with or without teachers! Shitz~ I feel like writing an essay again. Guess what! The only place I felt happiness is those old school days! I am numb now after I enter college. I forget what is it to be & feel happy. *=(
"Wen Seng"! My BEST boy friend in the world! Thanks, man. Thanks for everything. You helped too much. I can't even list them out. You know how much my family loves you! Haha! Now that you opened a shop on your own, I hope you do success, dude! Gambateh~!
Ah Hong! At S'wak now! Be careful, K? Haha! I want to see you become a great pharmacist one day! Thanks for teaching me "Mat Tambah", physics, & chemistry! Good Luck in your studies! You can do it~!
Ah Syh! I like your surname, man! Chay! "Bao Chai!" HaHa! No offence, dear! I really enjoyed sitting beside you & Ah Hong, man! You are the funniest guy I ever met! Special, no doubts! You know what I like about you? You are open-minded, man! It's cool to be your friend! Hope your studies move on smoothly! I luurrvvee ya! WAHAHA!
Patrick Sar Chen Hui! My terrorist! Always quarrel with me without reason says he is US's Bush & I am Iraq's Osama, & wanna fight with me in studies! HaHa! How's life, man? Becoming more & more "leng chai"? Hmm... You are a special person to me as well, man! Luv ur' Sar theories and formulas! Still remember the "rumus" for them? I remember we started out by quarrelling before you... and we became good friends! I wish you the best in your studies, K? Miss ya!
Chok Yi aaa... Why are you so shy??? I just want to be friends with you! HaHa! Design my house for me, ok? HeHe! *;-)
Teck Hui & Kang Wee! You 2 shy boys as well! I'm actually kinda fond of you 2! Cute "couple"! Ops~ Sorry! Sorry I always laugh at you guys when Ah Syh use funny words to describe you! I still want to laugh till now! Only 2 of you planned to study Form6 after SPM. How was it? Hope everything turns out fine... ^^
Ah Liang, when do you want to marry??!! Remember to invite ALL of us, OK? I give you all my blessings! Forever Love you 2 couple! @>---- I love you ALL. (30-83%)

Lok Fun...
One of my special friends... Glad to know you... 1stly from "Lo Han Yu"! HaHa! Thanks for being such a true friend these years... I love all your gifts & sincere calls. Thanks for being there for me almost all the time. Remember riding your uncle's car to "he cha" at "Mak Siti"? LoL! Nice trip with you on the bus! *;o) I love you. (75%)

Allie; Yaw Mei...
Yaw Mei. Haha! My best friend for quite a few years, girl! Remember how we know each other & give nicknames to teachers? Remember we sing songs behind the classroom, exchange clothes with each other, took pictures, visit each other's house, "lim teh" & "long kai" together? Oh ya, & chatting on the phone like 5 hours a day! OMG~ GurLs~ You are a great friend; gave me useful advises, supports me in my dreams, taught me to be more rational & to be careful when mixing with people. I miss those moments. All I can say now is be strong, stay happy, & be you. I love you. (70%)

My friends; Shu Huey, especially: Neo Ray Jen, Kok Yuen, Ee Ee, Siew Teng, Chin Chin, Sock See, Jesslyn, Yao Leong, Grace, Kenneth, Wee Fang, Eugene + gf...
Shu Huey, "jia you oo!" If U Believe U Can, U Can!
Neo, you are my BEST'est' BEST net friend EVA~!!!
Kok Yuen, I M WAITING FOR YOU AT MY CONDO TILL NOW! WHEN ARE YOU COMING TO SING K??!!! HaHa!
Ee Ee, Siew Teng, Chin Chin, Sock See, my Labis friends, glad you girls are safe & sound & happy all the time...
Yao Leong & gang... "When wanna 5d me yam char?" LoL~ Live Life CooL! B-)
I love you. (40-69%)

Joy, Helena, Ain, all the students of School of Performance + Media, & my lecturers...
You guys bring the school to life!!! d;-)
P/S: Joy, thanks for being a "sis" in the class!
Helena, be STRONG, & be HaPpY
Ain + Zarif, ha ha ha...
I love you. (63%)

Ama & Ah Kong... (dad's side)
Both you old folks... What should I say? Thanks for giving me money! LoL~ Take care...
P/S: Life gets longer when you do good deeds to people. If it's vice versa...
I love you. (88% & 38.5%)

If I will die tomorrow...





I WON'T BE DOING THIS!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!