Dirty LiL' Secrets (13 March 06)

Dirty LiL' Secrets *;)

At some point of your life, have U ever felt that...;
U r useless?
Every 1 is better than U?
U can't do anything right, even the simplest thing?
U r good-4-nothing; not talented in any shitz?
U don't even know where r U goin' & which route in life r U on?
U r confuse if U r on da' right path?
U don't know where 2 go & what 2 do?
U wish U r better; or worst, U wish U r some 1 else, even if he/she is only ur' normal fren?
U begin 2 admire every 1's life & self?
Everything seems 2 go wrong & U felt like goin' "Whatever~" at d end of da' day?
Well, I m human & I too, felt the same way, ESPECIALLY lately...
So, if U think U suck, let's c how sucky mine is.
I only realize thESE ( damn~ it's not thIS! -.-" ) lately bcuz I only dare 2 think of them now.
Here we go... *>_<* ( not in order )
I am a GIRL who...;
DOES make up but still don't know how. ( C?? It doesn't even sound right!! -.-" )
just tall enough to be a model but doesn't know how to walk!
can & learns how 2 sing in a bloody Xpansive vocal class but still, have NO confidence 2 sing~
good in acting ( says my acting lecturers ) but don't know how 2 read chinese... ( So how m I suppose 2 memorize my script if my wish is 2 go Taiwan & act in drama series after I graduate???!!! )
loves to host but mind is TOO BLURR 2 think. ( there will be lotsa empty space 2 fill then~ *=S ) loves dancing but it's always either 2 much or lack of feelings. -.-"""
loves 2 look perfect but doesn't know how 2 take care of her skin & face then REGRET it! ( e.g: lazy 2 wash off make up once I on my laptop & can on9 / just looking at WMP's visualizations; off minded 4 hourS & then a pimple will pop up, making me scream 4 d whole week~ -.-" )
loves 2 dress up but don't really know how. ( so I ended up looking like "Twins" or whatever bad-dressed artist she is~ )
loves her gadgets very much but can never take care of them. ( fling & "slap" my video cam each time I touch it. My hp & laptop r dying too. So is my CAR! Sorry darlings... )
studies in a course she wants & chose but is still blurr & don't know what is she doing all THESE yearS. ( I don't really know what I've learnt~ )
loves her family & close friends very much but doesn't know how to show it. ( So, ended up scolding them mayb bcuz of the frusturation of not-knowing-how-2-treat-ppl-I-love. *Sighz~* ) wants to learn a lot of things ( mandarin, Japanese + Korean language, danceS, piano, violin, etc. ) but learnt nothing instead.
always sincerely want to save money but ended up with I-don't-even-know-where-I-spent-hundredSs. ( always regret only when my hand touches the $ already, mind only starts 2 think then, but the evil cashier took my $ & leave me no time 2 think anymore~ )
wants a pet very badly but don't have time 2 take care of it or myself.
loves to travel but gets car sick, air sick, sea sick, all sickness very easily while moving.
loves to read & had in mind which books but never get a minute to read.
love 2 love some 1 badly but scare to get hurt or give 2 much. ( Hey, that's bcuz I got hurt 2 many times b4 & I realize I'm such a "flower-heart-carrot" when I'm single~ Every 1 looks delicious 2 me... tht means I'll hv 2 browse Xtra carefully... hahahah! *;p But I guess no 1 would want me after reading this. Joking.. )
wants to be happy & friendly but ended up like a younger sister or a loud happy speaker 2 ppl. -.-" wants to be quiet & decent but ended up vf ppl thinking I hv problems or I m "cool" / UNfriendly.
wants 2 drive safely but ended up speeding in less than 10 minutes.
wants to sleep more & earlier but never did because of the internet. ( my panda circles r never gone~ DO I actually love myself as much as I think I do? *=( )
feminine but rude. ( e.g: just pedicure my nails [D.I.Y] 2day & the nx day it's spoilt. )
wants to be love but is never worth to be loved. ( the above proves it. )

Well, since I'v been saying all these, I realized that they are actually little things bout' me. So... here is more personal secrets... I eat a LOT. I can eat 1 nasi lemak vf chicken & egg(s), 1 maggie goreng / roti, 1 teh o limau ais, 1/2 bottle of Pringles, a bar of chocolate, an ice cream at da' same time. Is that a lot? Well... I bath very long; 5 mins 4 shampoo, 5 mins 2 distribute conditioner ( then leave it 1st ), 5 mins to brush teeth, 10 mins 4 face, 5 mins 2 rinse conditioner off, 5 mins 4 body. Then, dry myself + choose clothes = 15 mins, make up = 30 mins, set hair (exceptional) = 45 mins, pack my stuff = 10 mins. ( Haven't include toilet time which is exceptional. Hope I don't freak U off as this is only the max time. But I have 2 use an overall of 2 - 2 1/2 hours 2 get ready & happy. ) I try my best 2 get what I really 1 at that moment & if I want it, I WANT IT! But I m tolerant. I m a virgin & anything vf sex makes me feel gross~! But I m straight & I love guys. I melt & fall in love whenever I listen 2 Lee Hom or Jay sings. & also if U r my type of cute / good lookin'... hahahah~ That means falling in & out easily. But if I REALLY love U, I am B.L.I.N.D. I can watch TV da' whole day from a.m to late p.m. A couch potato. I love ice creams, cakes, chocolates, cheese, strawberries!!!!! I 1 2 change myself but never succeed. Or should I change? *Hmmz* I click well only vf guys, not girls. 90% of my frenz r males. & I don't knw why. This started frm da moment I know how 2 walk & talk. My greatest wish is 2 enter Taiwan's entertaiment industry; b it acting, hosting, modelling, singing, I 1 my mum 2 c me in TV 1 day... I don't know Y m I crapping here & I do feel like Princess Mia in "Princess Diairies" now. U know Y if U read the book(s) b4. So bye! *;p