Sunday, May 17, 2009

This is the sexiest post ever.

Hi there.

The name is Jeremy and I've been commissioned by the ever-lovable Cindy to share some of the awesomeness that is me on this blog.

Ah. If only that were true.

The truth is, she just needed somebody to fill in for her while she's away seeing the Chinese sights.

Now here I am.

So. How you been? Read any good books lately?

*whistles*

Oh. You're expecting me to show you something?

Pffft. What am I? A performing monkey? No wait. Don't answer that.

Okay. So you're here to read about Cindy. Well, lucky for you, I generally have the inside scoop. I know things about her that people will pay good money to find out. And today, I shall share. Let's begin shall we? *insert creepy music with maniacal laughter*

I have compiled everything into a top 10 list. The TOP TEN THINGS YOU DO NOT KNOW ABOUT CINDY TEY!

10. Cindy is actually an avid gamer. She plays video games like nobody's business. She could whoop your ass at Street Fighter better than a Jap kid with too much allowance.

9. She is a connoisseur of food. Loves kimchi, caviar and of course the perpetually classy maggi mee.

8. She occasionally talks in her sleep and refers to herself as Princess Regina Von Huffleheimer.

7. Had a teddy bear named "Bearuang". Had him since she was 7 years old. Even though the bear was lost in a horrible accident involving the neighbour boy and a pair of scissors, she keeps a shrine dedicated to him in her room.

6. Loves her pop music. But her secret passion lies for the exquisite genre of polka.

5. Has a reoccuring nightmare about how she is trapped in a shopping mall, with an unlimited amount of money for clothes, BUT THERE IS NOBODY AT THE COUNTER FOR HER TO PAY TO.

4. Holds the world record for making a person wait. The actual amount of time is not confirmed yet, because he's been waiting since their high school prom, and she'll be ready to come down in juuuuuuuuuust another 5 minutes.

3. During her free time, she likes to stand on her head. She does this because it helps give her a different perspective on life.

2. Believes that french fries should not be eaten with ketchup or chilli sauce. The condiment of choice is always tabasco.

AND FINALLY:

1: She is going to come back from China and regret ever asking me to post for her.

And there you have it.

Now some parts of the list are true. Some are not. Except for number one, which is really a prophecy.

If you don't hear of me ever again, it's because she's killed me for a blog post. Probably because it
didn't include pictures.

What? You want some pictures too? Ugh. Okay

Here:
It's an apple Cindy ate.

Jere