The Art of Saying, & Her Friend; Trust. Dedicated: For My dear You. (26 Dec 2006)

The Art of Saying, & Her Friend; Trust. Dedicated: For My dear You.

As I grief Myself upon Your lost,
not Your lost of losts,
but My find that's lost,
Your lost, My find, is You.

I question Myself of things I shouldn't have question
Why then I shouldn't, not only that, I also musn't,
Why shouldn't & musn't when all that is needed,
neccessary?

When You say there's no use Saying cause' there'll be no changing,
I wonder why no use mouthing as Saying doesnt always come with changing;
But why say?
If why not say, then why keep or kept?

Saying comes with realizes and understandings
Then, there might be no changes seen but surely for one felt;
Those kept in the heart becomes Lithium and irony
Turns into a nuclear bomb which; kills 2 'birds' with 1 'stone'.

Saying this I might conquer
But I too now doubt
As I know there'll also be no changes,
neither in Your skin nor heart.

The cold blue You will still leave
As I wonder if You're made of ice
Your hands melt my hands of stone
But why as cold as fire not as warm as ice?

You are my sun
You are my grey cloud
Your soft brown eyes
Your synical smile

Synical, as synical it can be
Your smile Your sigh
Sigh, O Your sigh,
Yesterday I felt how a heart is sliced synically.

Forgive Me for my twisting
Pardon Me for my turning
But saying has its wayS
& here comes another.

Aye, I faith

I wonder, & wonder, wondered, & wondered
Why, How can Anyone read the pain,
Of a well-known angel-without-wings-&-broken-heart,
Who can't dance her lips with the Art of Saying?

She who understands the worthy of Saying
but cant speak at all?
Why?
Fie! Because of You, & all of You People!

She is now compressed.
Now I say the Saying of no angels but I'm no devil.

For You,
I say the things I dare not say 2 anyone but You, so easily;
I cut Your wounds & break Your heart, so easily;
Simply just by Words.

But I mean them NOT!
Darling I swear!
The art of being Me I don't know how to change!
Though I always tell You, "You are what You believe, so be not You"!

I love You with all I had to give & given,
I dare swear a thousand times by the moon; not that I love to curse,
I love Thee more than Thou love Me!
I haft this will to shout it to the World.

Trust; the friend of Saying,
Is as pity yet sorrowful as its name given,
So oftenly said yet so oftenly ignored,
The meaning of His name like the meaning of Your's.
(& ALL of You.)

Will You trust Me when I say the above
Nay, of course You trust Me not!
In Your mind You are the best, not I,
In Your Trust You love Me most, not I.

Because Your words don't kill,
But Mine.
But why then I do the things either You or People don't do?
Have You ever tried looking translucantly into this weird substance of Me???

Ask when they will, why kill with words when the most love is there for thee,
I am such a folly,
I can't do what You do
But You can do both because You love Me!

I don't want a battle, a fight, or a war,
But how can I escape them as I am still as before?
I want You by my side; for now, once & for all,
But why do You escape Me for dreams that You fell for?

Promises thou gave of gold and land
We are chasing tomorrow, not today, or now it shalt end,
I listen and lock those words in Myself; no defence
For I understand, & Trust, but a wilting rose my heart had became.

As yellow as corn how corny it shall sound
I can never learn how to live a life without thee, I found!
I can't live if living is without You
& I'm still, always STILL, learning how to lean on Myself...

As the wind from Dorothy's blow Me down
I can't find My Scarecrow
Or Mr. Tin Man's heart
For You I fell for, stole the Lion's courage.

If You were Oz I shall turn green for You,
Amazing for eyes, for world, for US!
I will wish upon a thousand castles below You, My king, My husband,
"Please, I beg You! Promise Me You'll leave Me not, NEVER!"

O Spite, o Hell!
Take this fantasy away from Me,
What a sin of Me to dream of what's that can't come undone,
I am a slave to Lord's fate to be left by You, never I leave You!

Honey, Can I cry?
Can I cry with You while You cry with Me?
Can You show Me Your tears hidden behind Your egoic face?
Can we share & stop this pain together, till death do us part, together we will be?

Only with You will My tears turn to pearls for the Queen,
Only with You will My dreams come true,
As only with You will My heart be happy & healthy,
And You are the only one whom I can't believe is doing this to Me.

Nay, I shall stop.
Why saying doesn't change says You
But at least this is 'said'
In the hope You'll read this & not be "Them"...

Please befriend My Trust & have fate in Me
Learn Me to know my words kill the people I love
As I m TOO afraid of losing Them / You
Only then I lie to Myself; I hate You!

If I shalt fight a war with You
Of stab Your heart though I know what's true
Please forgive Me I don't know what to do
Just believe me, all I ever love is still You.

Remember this, My Love.

For all of You,
Only a short one is all I have
Do not blame Me for My way of Saying
Cause' Trust is not between Us, & a thin wall we shall keep.

This is what I felt
Of love, lost, & found; again & again...
For I can't tell to Your face what is this about
As IF You're 'that' interested, You'll have found what You find,
Here, by Now.