Yesterday.
Today.
I subconsciously stop and stare at one specific spot, and my vision penetrates like 528 km/h into infinity making a puncture through whatever atom, molecule, or substance it is, and I feel my existence disappearing from this lunatic world. I can feel the tension at the back of my eyeballs; the fine gracile muscles twitching anxiously.
It’s quite painful, but my eyes won’t blink. They just stare. No tears. No cries. Nothing. But if this world can just slow down and be tardy for a bit, I bet you can hear the fey, whimsical sound of my corneas cracking.
I stare at a bottle of allergy pills which causes extreme ultimate drowsiness; wishing I have the guts to swallow em’ all, and just go to sleep… rather than starring down this ugly ugly spot from the 16th Floor, but I can’t do it. I can’t.
Courage. I am never brave enough to do everything that I knew I am capable of doing when I’m alone. I love to be guided, taught, loved and told of what not to do.
I’m exhausted. Not because of my new work, but my old life. You can never erase that. "Why are you here?” they asked. Yes. Exactly. Why am I here? The more I look into the question-ers, and myself, the MORE I couldn’t understand. Have they ever wondered why THEY are here too? And why are they dealing with all these so hard, unless the pay is fucking high! We are sick people I tell you, because most likely, you are too.
My getaways… to Redang, to Chatuchak, to H.K, to hell lah. I am still here. & what have I done about it? Nothing. And what do I need? That. So???
CINDY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm now actually in the studio waiting for Chef Wan to see his interview with DJ JD and Xandra Ooi. Time check? : 10.37 PM, and chef is 22 minutes late... Thank god I have nice music to listen to, and a breath-taking night city view from the 19th floor... telling me life's too beautiful to let go.....
ON-AIR
Xandra Ooi | Chef Wan | DJ JD
with Chef Wan standing on a chair with 4 wheels !!!!
This is why I love my job. (((:
So long didn't see Chef Wan dy. Hehe..
ReplyDeleteI want to work in a radio station too.
ReplyDeletei'm just a random reader who doesn't leave comments here usually. but i thought i might leave this excerpt from a song for u:
ReplyDeleteSo hold your head up high and know it’s the end of the road
Walk down this beaten path before you pack your things and head
Home
At the end of the road you’ll find what you’ve been longing for
I know cause my feet have the scars to show
I was lost with vague direction and no place to call home
It’s time for you to press on
This is not your war
Set your sites to the North and press on
This is not your escape
Dear rosewong, thats WHY! that's why i chose to stay & see him in action. :D
ReplyDeleteDear simon seow, erm... if you have any ideas about what they do & the love for working, come join us!
Dear nickosaurus-rex, i love your name. lol! 10x for the song lyrics... who sang it btw? (:
lol. thanks =) it's by underoath. very noisy music with good lyrics. hope u'll feel better soon.
ReplyDeletechef wan is half a century old and he is still so energetic :P
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